mr-prism:Consent Masterpost (3 of 5)The Hard StuffAll of that was the easy business. Black and whi

mr-prism: Consent Masterpost (3 of 5)The Hard StuffAll of that was the easy business. Black and white, is and is not, and anyone worth your time will agree on them (by which I explicitly mean that if they do not agree, they are not worth your time and you should kick them out faster than you can spit).There are also some that are somewhat less cut-and-dried, some that are flexible (don’t disagree until you see the examples), and some that honestly I just don’t quite know where the line lies, so I play it safe and don’t risk my partner’s comfort. It is better to ask permission than beg forgiveness.“I’m a Dominant. I don’t ask permission, I tell submissives what’s going to happen, and they can accept it or they aren’t true submissives.” Get out. Get. Out. This type of attitude is toxic and you should be chemically castrated to prevent your genes from infecting the gene pool. Get. The fuck. Out. Now.Moving on.Here are some of the less concrete areas of consent: Seducing consent, bribing consent, conditioned consent, influencing consent, changing consent, pushing consent, nonverbal consent, and the granddaddy of them all, consensual nonconsent. Let’s go through them one by one, shall we?* Seducing consentThis is a term I was introduced to only recently, that described a practice I’ve known for years. Seducing consent is approaching something that your partner doesn’t want at the time, and putting it in a light that leads them to wanting it. An example: Your partner is not into being posed like a doll, and they don’t want to do it. Your partner is very very into control, they love feeling like they are completely not in charge and of their mind or body. You may be able to seduce their consent by framing it in a specific way that appeals to their love of control more than it conflicts with their discomfort with being posed like a doll., If they become interested enough to change their mind and decide that they want to try it, you have seduced their consent.I am generally okay with seducing consent. They are still fully capable of choosing to say no, but they have chosen to say yes. Close attention must be given to make sure that there is no pressure or negative consequences for saying no, and ensure that their consent is enthusiastic. Check on them during the activity, and make sure that you still have their green light before continuing, stopping if they withdraw it. Play carefully and consider your partner’s comfort before the activity itself.* Bribing consentNow we get a bit more dicey. Some people like bribing their consent — “If you give consent to this thing I want, then I’ll give you something you want.” Realistically, a lot of this happens in ordinary life, and we call it “compromise”. It leaves me with a sour feeling in erotic hypnosis and other BDSM activities, because it usually lacks the important ‘enthusiastic’ part of good consent. In theory, I can see how someone might not have strong feelings towards something and become enthusiastic if a suitable reward is offered for their consent, but it leaves a really bad taste in my mouth and I don’t like it.In cases where I had consent without enthusiasm, I have found my own interest quickly died, and I went in a different direction instead. When it comes to bribing consent, I am not a fan and don’t support it, but I don’t have enough moral or ethical grounds to outright condemn it … quite. I will probably not become close to anyone who bribes consent on a consistent basis.* Conditioned consentSome people like to obey. Okay, considering that we are talking primarily about hypnokink (and also power exchange in general), it’s fair to say that this is a lot of people. Probably even the majority of subjects. Given what we do, it is almost inevitable that a subject with a very high degree of rapport and trust in their hypnotist would get to a point where they are more open to offering consent with their special person than to some else, just because they trust them and enjoy saying yes. I know one subject very well who would have a hard time telling her Master ‘No’ on anything. She could, I’m sure, if it were important enough, but her default is an enthusaistic ‘Yes’.Be careful with conditioned consent. If a subject gets to this point, it’s more crucial than ever for their partner to communicate (see a theme here?) and make sure they are okay. Some bottoms will agree to something they don’t want and then feel bad about it later, so you need to talk and make sure you know what they really want. Some bottoms want to agree to things they don’t want and think that’s even hotter … but that will be covered in another post.One page of this masterpost will go up every day this week. The links below will work as the pages are posted.« Last Page Read the full Consent MasterpostNext Page » Original posts to be found here. -- source link

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