mr-prism:Consent Masterpost (2 of 5)What is consent?I hope that I don’t actually have to answer th
mr-prism: Consent Masterpost (2 of 5)What is consent?I hope that I don’t actually have to answer this question, but here it is just in case. (For the record, the use of “top” and “bottom” in this context is used to mean “hypnotist or dominant partner” and “subject or submissive partner”. As these practices are applicable to the general world of sex and BDSM culture as well as hypnokink, it’s an easy summation.)* Consent is permission. Consent is a person’s willing agreement to have an action performed to or with them. With consent, you have the moral right to perform actions that would be wrong without their consent. It is the difference between being a good partner and being an asshole.* Consent must be informed. They have to know what they are agreeing, and as much of the consequences/ramifications as possible. If someone doesn’t know to what they are agreeing, then their agreement means very little (or nothing). Let’s say you, the reader, do not know what bifurcation is. Someone asks if you would mind if they bifurcated you. You agree. They then chop you into two even halves. Clearly, someone has the right to know to what they are agreeing, and the other person has the responsibility to tell them.* Consent must be continuous. Here is a bone of contention with a lot of people. There is a semi-popular position that once you give consent, it cannot be withdrawn. In essence, these people say that once you say “I want that”, you give up the right to change your mind. This is wrong on about four different levels, and it all comes down to the same thing in the end – Someone who says you cannot withdraw your consent cares more about what they want to do than they care about you. Run away. Run faaaaaaaaaaaar away from these people, they are toxic and not trustworthy and abusers.* Consent is given freely. There is a principle involved in legal negotiation regarding force and contractual agreement. Force used to gain agreement is called “duress”. If agreement is forced, it is under duress, and thus invalid. In simpler terms, if you are afraid or unable to say ‘no’, then I’m afraid you’re unable to say ‘yes’. A yes only means something when you can freely choose between yes and no. Let’s look at some examples. If you are physically threatened, you cannot consent. If you are verbally threatened, you cannot consent. If your emotions are threatened (“I’ll hate you unless you…”), you cannot consent. If your job is threatened, you cannot consent. If your reputation is threatened, you cannot consent. See a pattern here? If there are any negative consequences being leveraged against you for failure to comply, then you are under duress. If you are under duress then you cannot give valid, meaningful consent. This is a hard and fast rule, no exceptions. If you cannot choose to walk away, then you cannot choose to stay. It’s that simple. Your consent is given freely, or it is not given at all.* Consent is enthusiastic. There is a more subtle way that some people try to get false consent. You must give consent because you want it, not grudgingly for some other reason. If you are being badgered or annoyed or ignored or nagged or guilted or … hey, see a theme emerging? Recognize it? Just as you cannot give consent when you are under an overt threat of force, you cannot consent to make something unpleasant stop happening. Anyone who would use the threat of discomfort or annoyance to obtain your consent is an asshole and you should punch his balls through his spine.* Consent is informed, continual, enthusiastic permission freely given by one to another. If even one of those is missing, it isn’t consent – it’s wrong.One page of this masterpost will go up every day this week. The links below will work as the pages are posted. << Last Page Read the full Consent MasterpostNext Page >> Original posts to be found here. -- source link
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