playugly:danielle-mertina:bidyke:rcmclachlan:doodlyood:theonewholovesbooks:thatfilthyani
playugly: danielle-mertina: bidyke: rcmclachlan: doodlyood: theonewholovesbooks: thatfilthyanimal: Say that at 18 I slap down enough money so I could have my whole body covered head-to-toe in tattoos, piercings all over myself, a mountain of cigarettes, plastic surgery, and plan to have like 20 babies… but if I try at all to safely make it impossible for me to breed for the sake of my health suddenly its like WOAH THERE SLOW DOWN MISSY YOU’RE NOT READY FOR THIS KIND OF COMMITMENT YET I have stage III Endometriosis, which means I have to get my uterus removed because I literally have terrible cramps ALL THE TIME and not just when I’m on my period. Now, I’ve always said I don’t want any children for personal reasons and I don’t need my uterus, really. I am not worried about that surgery and I don’t feel any kind of nostalgia over an organ I won’t ever use. The thing is, my doctor is a ‘man’. This ‘man’ told me I had to get pregnant right now before it’s too late. I told him I didn’t want to get pregnant and explained the multiple reasons but what, do you ask, did my doctor have to say about this? ‘Well, better have a kid now because just imagine how depressing it must be being a thirty-something woman without children and a husband?’ I was diagnosed a year ago. I should have gone through surgery six months ago and I still can’t find a doctor that will perform the surgery without trying to force me to have children first. Basically, if you’re a woman you don’t have a say in what can and cannot be done to your body without a shitload of people getting in the way AND I’M FUCKING SICK OF IT. A dear friend of mine wanted to have her tubes tied. She was about to give birth to twins and the doctors wouldn’t consent because she wasn’t 21 yet. She had already had children and they still refused to let her have the procedure. My friend got a vasectomy a week after asking his doctor for one, no problem. He was 25. Me? I’ve asked 4 different doctors for some kind of permanent sterilisation—tubal ligation or Essure or whatever—and I get a pat on the head and a “You’d regret it if you did.” Oh, DIDN’T REALIZE YOU HAD A DIRECT LINE TO MY BRAIN. This is horrifying. But then on the other hand when I was about 15 or so my white male doctor asked me if I was sexually active and I said no. But he “suggested” that I start birth control anyway because he said “just in case” and then tried to be snide by saying “it has other benefits.” Thankfully, my mother advocated for me and let the doctor know that wouldn’t be happening. And now as an adult I have prioritized finding a woman of color doctor due to these kinds of incidences. Under white supremacy , white women are supposed to have (white) babies. As many as they can. Black women & WOC are viewed as constantly at risk of having babies from girlhood and every step is taken to ensure that it doesn’t happen because our babies are socially undesirable. thank you bc my best friend recently had a baby but every step of the way through her pregnancy, her doctor, a Black woman, kept “advising” her to abort it.the medical system is so fucked up to people of color and our right to have kids and see them live. -- source link