ashildrknightmare: sugarbabymindset: The Seductive Character - Part II - From Robert Greene, The A
ashildrknightmare: sugarbabymindset: The Seductive Character - Part II - From Robert Greene, The Art of Seduction Every seduction has two elements: first, yourself and what is seductive about you; and second, your target and the actions that will penetrate their defenses and create surrender. This post is dedicated to the first element: “The Seductive Character”. Studying the types of seducer will make you aware of what is inherently seductive in your character. We all have the power of attraction — the ability to draw people in. All we need to do to realize our potential is understand what it is in a person’s character that naturally excites people and develop these latent qualities within us. Successful seductions begin with your character, your ability to radiate some quality that attracts people and stirs their emotions in a way that is beyond their control. The Rake Example: Don Juan The Rake is a great female fantasy figure — when he desires a woman, brief though that moment may be, he will go to the ends of the earth for her. He may be disloyal, dishonest, and amoral, but that only adds to his appeal. He is delightfully unrestrained, a slave to his love of women. There is the added lure of his reputation: so many women have succumbed to him, there has to be a reason. The Rake is characterized by his uncontrollable libido. When he pursues a woman, he is overwhelmed with desire, which eventually overcomes his target, even despite herself. Intense desire has a distracting power on a woman, just as the Siren’s physical presence does on a man. The Rake also has a power with words. While the male is vulnerable to the visual a Siren can concoct, the woman’s weakness is the words a Rake uses. The Coquette Example: Josephine de Beauharnais An easy conquest has a lower value than a difficult one. That’s why your target is excited by what he cannot fully possess. Your seductive power is your ability to draw him in, then make him want to pursue you — delaying his satisfaction, turning away, making him come after you. First and foremost, excite your target. Bait with the promise of reward — the hope of physical pleasure, happiness, fame, power — all of which, however, will prove elusive. But obvious flirting will reveal your intentions too clearly. It’s better to be ambiguous and even contradictory, frustrating at the same time that you stimulate. Create space. Your coolness suggests a comfortable confidence that is exciting to be around, your silence makes others want to talk. Your appearance of having no need for others makes people want to do things for your recognition and favors. Be the master of selective withdrawal. The more obviously you pursue a person, the more likely you are to chase them away. Too much attention signals weakness and neediness. Hint at coldness, absenting yourself at times to keep your target off balance. Your withdrawals make you mysterious, so your target builds you up in his imagination. A bit of distance engages his emotions; instead of making him angry, it makes him insecure. He will succumb to you, just to prove he’s still desirable. The essence of the Coquette lies not in the tease and temptation but in the subsequent step back, the emotional withdrawal. As a Coquette, you’re not emotionally needy; but self-sufficient, narcissistic even. Self-esteem is critical in seduction: your attitude toward yourself is read by the other person in subtle and unconscious ways. The less you seem to need other people, the more likely others will be drawn to you. But do not confuse self-absorption with seductive narcissism. Talking endlessly about yourself is eminently anti-seductive, revealing not self-sufficiency but insecurity. Orchestrate a back-and-forth movement between hope and frustration, make your target afraid that you may be withdrawing, that you may not really be interested. Then, once you have made him uncertain, reignite his hope, make him feel desired again. Hot and cold, hot and cold — coquetry heightens his interest and keeps the initiative on your side. Coquettes are never jealous but they are masters at inciting jealousy: by paying attention to a third party, creating a triangle of desire, you signal to your victim that you may not be that interested. By maintaining aloofness, start a competition to win your favor. The Charmer Example: Pamela Churchill Charm is seduction without sex. As a Charmer, you fulfill the aspects of sexuality that are so alluring and addictive — focused attention, boosted self-esteem, wooing, understanding — but subtract the sex itself. Although charm cannot exist without a hint of sexual tension, it cannot be maintained unless sex is kept in the background. Diffuse a sense of warmth: union without sex. Create excitement through a generalized flirtation. Just like a geisha, your power lies not in your sexual favors, but in your self-effacing attentiveness. Inevitably, your target will become addicted, and dependent. First, make your target the center of attention. Don’t talk much about yourself — this will only heighten your mystery and disguise your limitations. Fade into the background. Learn the power you can wield by making the other person feel like the star. Let your target talk. Listen and observe. Be interested in him, let him relax and open up to you. Understand his spirit, adapt to his moods, mirror him, share his values and tastes. Individualize your attention, appeal to his needs, tailor your flatteries to his insecurities. Make him feel bigger and better, validating his sense of self-worth. Aim at his main weaknesses: vanity and self-esteem. According to Benjamin Disraeli, “Talk to a man about himself and he will listen for hours.” The strategy can never be obvious; subtlety is the Charmer’s great skill. Second, be a source of pleasure. No one wants to hear about your problems and troubles. Listen to your target’s complaints. Most importantly, distract him from his problems. Be lighthearted and fun, have an energetic presence, cultivate elegance and style: most people like to associate themselves with whatever they think elevated and cultured. Do not argue, fight, complain, or criticize. Bring harmony, smooth out conflict. When people are aggressive, retreat, let them have their little victories. Yielding will charm the fight out of them. If need be, play the inferior, unthreatening and humble. What will this matter if you reach your goal in the end? Give them what they want in the moment, appeal to their self-interest, make them feel superior to you. When a baby has grabbed a sharp knife, do not try to grab it back; instead, stay calm, offer candy, and the baby will drop the knife to pick it up. Make yourself useful. Your ability to enhance the lives of others is devilishly seductive. Use your social skills to create a wide network of allies. Then, link people up with each other. They’ll feel that, by knowing you, they can make their lives easier. Never mistake people’s exterior characteristics for their real character. Look further than their face, their clothes, their words. Our personalities are often molded by how we have been treated. A gruff exterior may hide a person dying for warmth; a sober-looking type may actually be struggling to conceal uncontrollable emotions. That is the key to charm — feeding what has been repressed or denied. It’s okay if people recognize you as a Charmer. People will fall under your spell regardless. The feeling that you provide is so rare, it’s worth the price. The Charismatic Example: Joan of Arc The Charismatic has a presence that excites people. It comes from inner qualities that are powerfully attractive, that others lack, and that make you stand out: self-confidence, sexual energy, sense of purpose, contentment, boldness, serenity. Keep the source of these qualities mysterious, but let them radiate outward, permeate your gestures, without the appearance of conscious effort. They’ll make others imagine there is more to you than meets the eye: you’re some kind of a god, a saint, a star. Learn to create the charismatic illusion by radiating intensity while remaining detached. Your face should be animated, full of energy, desire, alertness. People will happily follow you because they like to be led, particularly by someone who promises adventure or prosperity. You have a gift — often a smoothness with language. You express a vision. In your presence, others have a kind of religious experience, they believe in you, without having any rational evidence for doing so. When trying to concoct an effect of charisma, never forget the religious source of its power. To embody the Charismatic, cultivate these traits: purpose, mystery, saintliness, eloquence, theatricality, uninhibitedness, fervency, vulnerability, adventurousness, magnetism. The Star Example: Marlene Dietrich Daily life is harsh, and most people constantly seek escape from it in fantasies and dreams. As a Star, you feed on this weakness. First, you must have a large presence to fill your target’s mind the way a close-up fills a movie screen. You must have a distinctive style or presence that makes you stand out from everyone else, and makes people want to watch you. A Star can have a certain dramatic flair — other times, a more haunting, dreamlike effect will be created by subtle touches: the way you smoke a cigarette, a vocal inflection, a way of walking. Stars are fascinating objects. Look at yourself from a distance: study your face, legs, body, as if they were someone else’s. This will give you the ability to mold your look, transforming your appearance for effect. Cultivate a blank, mysterious face that lets your target see you according to his fantasy. Be like a beautiful object, something to fetishize, to stimulate fantasies, to admire the way we admire a work of art. Float through life noncommittally and people will want to seize you. Of all the parts of your body that draw this fetishistic attention, the strongest is your face: learn to tune it like an instrument, make it radiate a fascinating vagueness. Stars are figures of myth come to life. Study iconic celebrities’ physical presence — how they adopt a distinctive style, while remaining cool and visually arresting. Then, assume the pose of a mythic figure: the rebel, the wise patriarch, the adventurer — whichever you want. Keep these connections vague; they should never be obvious to the conscious mind. In fact, seduction is persuasion that bypasses consciousness. That’s why you should learn the art of insinuation, of reaching the unconscious. It expresses itself through dreams, which are connected to myth. Make yourself the hero of a myth, a great drama. Your words and actions should seem to be dealing not with specific, nitty-gritty issues, but with matters of life and death, love and hate. At the same time, keep your distance. Be vague, dreamlike and ethereal. Let your target imagine more than is there. Learn to become an object of fascination by projecting the glittering but elusive presence of the Star. But don’t be distant or absent either — you don’t want people to be unable to focus on or remember you. They have to be seeing you in their minds when you’re not there. Let people identify with you without being able to touch you. They can only watch and dream. Part 1: The Siren, The Ideal Lover, The Dandy, The Natural is HERE. So, sugars: which seductive character are you? I love this book. -- source link