Once in a blue moon, WHAT TO WEAR WHEN will try to answer a practical question with relatively-affor
Once in a blue moon, WHAT TO WEAR WHEN will try to answer a practical question with relatively-affordable pieces that ship to the US and come in a range of sizes, instead of whatever $20k piece of bespoke jewelry we are currently obsessed with. This is really difficult for us, so please do not expect it to happen very often.No murder at all? That’s kind of a tall order for your editors. We mostly get asked questions about murder. But we’ll do our best!First of all, CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR HOTNESS. What a gift to your former classmates to be allowed to behold you.Second of all, as you may know if you have ever opened a fashion magazine, the most flattering friend a hottie can have is the LBD: the Little Black Derringer. NO! No. We are just kidding, of course. This is a murder-free edition of this fashion blog. The LBD is the Little Black Dress, a fashion staple through the ages. Below the cut, five ways to ensure that your hotness is as on-message as it is unmissable.1. The Cutie PieOh my god look at you! Oh my god, come here. Get out. You’re so fucking cute. You’re like a princess. I want to kiss your face. Where did you get that bag? I’m like dying, you’re so cute. “Listen, your cuteness makes me feel safe confessing this right now: I’ve always loved you ever since high school and you are even more beautiful now than you were then. But no pressure! Just so you know.” –Everyone at your reunion probably.Dress: House of Fraser, $110, sizes [??????] [Confusing and British]. We are guessing that it only goes up to about a US 10, which is lame, but Modcloth has some great-looking alternatives along the same lines for around the same price, like this one and this one. In fact, black skater dresses are a dime a dozen around the internet: here’s one for $38 that we’re very tempted by.Shoes: Nueva Epoca, $219. These are a little pricey, but there is a reason. Come here. We’re gonna tell you what it is, but it’s a secret. Are you listening? Okay: the world has been hiding something important from you. That hidden thing is called the Character Shoe. Designed for professional dancers, these high heels have more durability, balance, flexibility and comfort than most of your editor’s dang sneakers. If you’re someone who frequently dances all night, stop hurting yourself. Invest. You are welcome.Bag: Etsy, $58. We also considered this cute-as-balls business from Aldo, $30. (IT COMES IN 2 DIFFERENT PUPPY FACES!!!)Jewelry: Plastique Hell Yeah necklace, $32; Bracelets from Forever 21 ($4.80, $4.80, $2.80, $5.80), Lou Lou ($10, $18), Z Designs ($12), Adia Kibur ($17), Nasty Gal ($18), pura vida ($24), Towne & Reese ($24), Cruciani ($30), Fornash ($32), Gorjana ($35), Sole Society ($35). Some of the bracelets actually pictured sold out by the time we finished this draft, so we have listed some alternatives. Whichever you choose, ROCK THAT ARM PARTY GIRL. 2. The 2 Cool 4 SchoolWhat, was there a reunion today? You totally forgot. You were just headed to your friend Felipe’s gallery opening and you just happened to step into this bar to fortify yourself. Fancy running into all of you here! Oh, a drink? You’d love one, thanks so much. Sipsmith up with a twist, but if they don’t have that, Belvedere is fine.Dress: Splendid, $130, sizes XS-XL. (Alternatives: ASOS, $53, ASOS Curve, $42). Black t-shirt dresses are eminently adaptable: when you leave your high school crush’s apartment the next morning, steal one of their plaid shirts to tie around your waist for a grunge-chic daytime look.Jewelry: Gorjana necklace, $50; Sarah Chloe ring, $98, Gorjana ring, $50. (Alternative: Heroine stacked rings, $22.)Boots: Maiden Lane, $119Clutch: Loris, $683. The WHATEVER MOMLet there be no doubt: you got super, super hot, and you are here to make everyone aware of it. You’re a maneater. Make them buy cars. Make them cut cards. Make them wish they’d never met you at all. But in a good way!Dress: BLQ, $120, sizes XS-L. This dress ranges perilously close to having cap sleeves, which we haaaaaaaate, but come on. Who’s gonna notice?(Plus size alternative: Sara Betty, $34. VA VA VOOM VOOM!!) Shoes: Dolce Vita, $90.Jewelry: Gorjana earrings, $17; Style Moi cuff, $14; Monki necklace, $19 [not pictured bc I forgot].Clutch: Deux Lux, $75. Also: Fashion tape (essential, and btw your editors use this stuff all the time, even with much less exciting outfits). Deep purple-red manicure to sink into the hearts of the unwary.4. The Stevie NicksLoad up on accessories, wear a hat indoors, and capitalize on your deep and beautiful weirdness with this witchy-chic look. Signature move: drift silently up behind your ex-classmates and pluck a single hair from their heads. If they notice, smile dreamily at them and waft away like a feather. Dress: Yumi, $73, sizes [confusing and British again]. Alt: Pyramid Collection, $80. STEVIE NICKS! PYRAMID COLLECTION!!! Buy yourself like 12 crystal balls and a sultry fairy figurine while you’re there. Shoes: Topshop, $85Hat: Nasty Gal, $40Jewelry: Rings, ASOS ($8), Spring Street ($10), Free People ($14); Necklaces, Nasty Gal ($20), Glitzy Rocks ($21), your weird aunt’s closet (free, but you will probably have to spend 20 minutes letting her read your crystals).5. The ClassicPicture it: A movement on the dance floor, a stirring, a slight inhalation. The crowd parts. The lights seem to soften. “Where Is The Love,” the ubiquitous 2004 hit by the Black Eyed Peas, fades from hearing as Ezio Pinza begins to croon “Some Enchanted Evening.” And suddenly in the spotlight, rising from the throng like some Robert McGinnis siren come to exquisite life, there you are. Your high school spontaneously explodes, reassembles, and names itself after you.Dress:Laura Byrnes, $140, sizes XS-4XL. Your editor wants this dress sooooooooooo baddddddddddd ughghghghghhghhhhh!!!!!Shoes: BCBG, $60. These simple and sophisticated d'Orsay pumps come in 11 different varieties and colors. Follow your heart.Bag: Dasein clutch, $30.Jewelry: Etsy necklace, $45; Topshop earrings, $20. The most stylish girl your editor ever met always said that off-the shoulder looks should be accessorized with “dangly earrings and collarbones.” We like this as a general rule (with the addendum that it is irrelevant whether or not your personal body happens to possess visible collarbones; the designation is geographic rather than aesthetic), but suggest that a delicate crescent-bar pavé necklace, resting right in that sexy vulnerable dip at the hollow of your throat, is a gorgeously subtle enhancement.Also: Red matte lips, smoky perfume. -- source link
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