whosebob:Excerpts from Etiquette 17th EditionAs fluid as manners are they rest on the same bedrock p

whosebob:Excerpts from Etiquette 17th EditionAs fluid as manners are they rest on the same bedrock principles: respect, consideration, and honesty.Respecting other people means recognizing their value as human beings, regardless of their background, race, or creed.Self-respect is just as important as respect for others. A self-confident person isn’t boastful or pushy but is secure with herself in a way that inspires confidence in others. She values herself regardless of her physical attributes or individual talents, understanding that honor and character are what really matter.Thoughtfulness and kindness are folded into consideration for other people. Being thoughtful means thinking about what you can do to put people at ease, while kindness is more about acts. Taken together, these qualities lead us to help a friend or stranger in need, to bestow a token of appreciation, to offer praise.Honesty has more to do with ethics than etiquette, but the two are intertwined. What could be more unmannerly than being deceptive? Honesty ensures that we act sincerely and is also the basis of tact: speaking and acting in ways that won’t cause unnecessary offense.Two other essential qualitiesGRACIOUSNESS AND DEFERENCEGraciousness is the ability to handle situations with aplomb and flexibility, while showing deference can be as easy as removing one’s hat in a place of worship.The mark of a gracious person is his ability to put people at ease and spare them any embarrassment.Deference is primarily a means of recognizing a person’s experience and accomplishments. -- source link

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