mypeculiarparadox:spacezeros:spacezeros:wanting and not wanting at the same time a comic for a

mypeculiarparadox: spacezeros: spacezeros: wanting and not wanting at the same time a comic for asexual awareness week bringing this back today for the start of pride month. still overwhelmed by how well this comic went down and with how many people relate. it’s easy to think aro-ace people are all totally accepting of their identities and really proud of who they are. i guess on websites like this you see a lot of people proudly putting their identity in their bio, a flag in their profile picture. in fact i think a lot of aro-ace people really hate that part of themselves, hide it, and struggle for a long time to ‘accept’ who they are and feel any sense of ‘pride’. that’s the feeling i wanted to capture here. the disappointment, the loneliness, upon realising that you can’t feel what is such a wonderful thing. the embarrassment of not being ‘normal’, of being some random sexuality that nobody irl has heard of, and letting down those around you because you can’t be who they want you to be. how desperately you want to change, how desperately you want to feel. but you just can’t. i know not all aro-ace people feel like this. i know lots of aro and/or ace people feel able to be in relationships, to feel closeness and have partners in other ways. but i think it’s important to be aware that some aro-ace people do feel like this. the comments on this comic have mostly been great but a few have been very frustrating. a comment it got a lot was along the lines of ‘aw!! you don’t need to have sex to be in a relationship!’. you completely missed the point, hah. this is not a comic about sex. it’s about a lack of feeling, the lack of something beautiful other people seem to have. another comment that popped up a few times was ‘maybe she’s a lesbian’. well maybe lesbians and aro/ace girls have more in common than people think - maybe they both often struggle to accept that they feel no attraction to men, even though society has conditioned them to do so, sometimes spending years trying to force themselves to like men in that way, when they just can’t. this comic is called ‘wanting and not wanting at the same time’ because she wants to love. but when it comes down to the reality, she can’t fulfil the requirements of that. she wants to love someone forever, to get married and have children and grow old with her soulmate, but she doesn’t want it with this person. or that person. or anyone she meets or will ever meet. a sort of catch 22, i guess. hope that makes sense. thanks for listening, and have a lovely pride month ❤️ Coucou c’est moi Not gonna lie, that last part hit me hard.My orientation is basically ‘confusion’ at this point. If I even get a crush it’s always someone who’s not available somehow. But even if they were, what would I do? I know I’d be terrible in a relationship. I wouldn’t be able to give my partner what they want or need. It would feel like I’m desperately scrambling just to do the most basic things expected. It would destroy me.And yet… The fantasy can be so appealing. I have one of the strongest crushes I’ve ever had in my life right now. Before, I would have been able to dismiss my 'crushes’. Just mild interest from afar until it inevitably fades. He’s good at music. She has a pleasant voice. They are such a sharp dresser. I could barely call it love. But now I’m 28, and when I see her I can’t help but think “What would it be like?” In the fantasy it’s always fun. I make her laugh, I get to braid her beautiful brown hair, I bake her cookies and she loves them, we take care of her cats together, we cuddle, we are happy.Reality isn’t like that. She’s straight. I’m broken. Every smile she gives me tears me apart. -- source link

More pics about