kumiomori: My Unplanned PregnancyPlanned pregnancies are terrifying. Unplanned ones are something
kumiomori: My Unplanned Pregnancy Planned pregnancies are terrifying. Unplanned ones are something else entirely! I am currently pregnant with my fourth child, because being a single mother of three wasn’t difficult enough, I suppose. And I now have two baby daddies. Recently divorced and knocked up again. Yup. A single mother of four? WTF? Hi, panic-inducing responsibility! That statement is shocking to me, my brain still unable to process. I have no clue how any of this is going to work out, but whatever, it will. It must. You can plan for life and it won’t turn out as you expected anyway. Part of me just wanted to make the problem go away, but I couldn’t. When I look at my kids, I see my strength, I see that in spite of all of the odds and my fleeting, yet overpowering, feelings of inadequacy, they thrive and so do I. I didn’t want to make a decision based on fear, or based on other people’s doubt. I didn’t want to make an irreversible decision due to myopia. I have already suffered enough loss in my life and I just couldn’t handle anymore. I must admit though, that I did, on some level, want another baby, otherwise I wouldn’t have allowed it to happen. I wasn’t at all expecting it to take place as it did, but an undeniable primal desire was present. Perhaps my body was urgently notifying me that I am entering my mid-thirties? Or maybe creating life would somehow make me feel more alive? Maybe I am straight addicted to being a baby factory? I just wanted a legit litter of children? I don’t know. I don’t know!! My motivations are currently outside my realm of understanding; maybe I’ll never have clarity. Logically, I need another child like I need a fucking hole in my head, but here I am. I made my decision knowing that I’ll get through it, that somehow everything will be ok. This baby is a blessing just like my other ones. I’m simply trusting in the unknown. Now back to puking and pissing my pants, yay for that aspect of pregnancy, ha! #unplanned #unplannedpregnancy #knockedup #prochoice #prolife #pregnant #pregnancy #naturalbirth #motherhood #singlemom #babies -- source link