milkygastrobones:megpie71:sinnahsaint:urbanfantasyinspiration:kansascity-elffriend:illvminavt:laila-
milkygastrobones:megpie71:sinnahsaint:urbanfantasyinspiration:kansascity-elffriend:illvminavt:laila-exehasstoppedworking:beyoncescock:sharing this cause i wish i learned this soonerBut did you really forgive them if you aren’t willing to let them back into your life Forgiveness is letting go of your anger at someone. It doesn’t mean you have to trust them again.People often confuse forgiveness for reconciliation My abusive ex once tracked me down and said he had done so because of a 12-step program telling him to make amends. He apologized. I told him “I’m glad to hear you’re getting help. Thank you for the apology.” He then tried to add me as a friend on Facebook. I told him “I accepted your apology but we are not friends. I hope your life continues to improve. Goodbye.” and thankfully he fucked off. I have to tell you though… I was sweating bullets the whole time. I am honestly glad if he is getting help(I only 70% believe he was in the program and only 40% believe he will change because of it)…. but not only does an apology not heal the damage he caused… it certainly isn’t enough for me to risk further damage. I owe him nothing. I didn’t even owe him a response to the apology. I did that for me because that is who I want to be. I want to be the person who can set healthy boundaries while being compassionate to those who have wronged me. Hate is a heavy burden to carry for someone you don’t even like, so I choose not to hate. I do choose who I let into my life however, and there is a high bar. The thing about forgiveness is it’s showing a willingness on your part to let the past be the past, and stay in the past. This does not mean you have to let the past become the future. Forgiveness means the slate is wiped clean: you owe me nothing (not recompense, not reparations I owe you nothing (not reconciliation, and not rehabilitation, either).“Hate is a heavy burden to carry for someone you don’t even like” -- source link
#long post#abuse#remember