catboymettaton: newjaxxcity:i hate each one of these kids individually and in alphabetical order. [I
catboymettaton: newjaxxcity:i hate each one of these kids individually and in alphabetical order. [ID: a set of yearbook quotes. all but the last end with an instruction of whose quote to check next, and all but the first start with the instruction to check Thomas Alden’s quote first. the quotes say:“A man walks into a bar and pauses. At the other end of the bar there’s this guy with a big orange head, just kind of sitting there, staring into his drink. So the man asks the bartender… “Can I have some pork scratching’s, please?” And then he adds, “Say, what’s up with the guy with the big orange head?” And the bartender says…“It’s an interesting story. Buy him a drink and maybe he’ll tell it to you.” So the man walks over and introduces himself and offers to buy a round. The guy with the big orange head says, “Yeah, I’ll bet you want to know the story, huh?” To which the man replies, “Sure, if you don’t mind.”“The man with the big orange head sighs and says, “You know, I’ve gone over it in my mind a million times. Basically, it’s like this: I was walking along the beach one day, when I stubbed my toe on something. I looked down, and there was an antique brass lamp shaped perfectly like Bill Nighy’s face…I picked it up and dusted it off. Suddenly, in a huge cloud of navy blue smoke, a genie erupted from the lamp. Dressed in a blue park jacket, black square framed glasses, with his hair tied in a bun, the genie boomed; “Thank you for releasing me from my 10,000 year imprisonment, as a reward I will grant you two wishes…”The man at the bar is agape. The guy with the big orange head continues: “So I said, wow, okay. Well my first wish is to be fantastically wealthy.” The genie says, ‘Your wish is granted.’ And all of a sudden I have rings on my fingers and a crown on my head, and a big medallion around my neck…The man can’t believe what he was hearing. “What was your last wish?” He asks. The man with the big orange head pauses and sips his beer. He says, “Now, you know, this may be where I went wrong…”I wished for a big orange head.”end ID] -- source link