orplid: Thrill of Masochism … Anita Phillips - ‘A Defence of Masochism’ Anita Phillips asserts in he
orplid: Thrill of Masochism … Anita Phillips - ‘A Defence of Masochism’ Anita Phillips asserts in her book “A Defence of Masochism” that masochism is an intelligent, creative, misunderstood perversion which demonstrates “how psychologically healing sexual pain can be, in transforming inner trouble into something that your body can take and survive.” The masochist wants pain because it triggers pleasure, and needs a willing accomplice who understands – and agrees – when to stop. Her defence of masochism revolves round the transfiguring power of sex and sexual fantasy and the fact that what masochists crave and achieve through pain - a temporary loss of ego and identity – is in itself a fundamentally healthy psychological experience. Anita Phillips points out that by its very existence masochism is a creative subversion of patriarchy (the masochist getting pleasure out of being oppressed). She insists they are usually people with a particularly strong sense of self, who in their everyday lives are often assertive and powerful, and thus actively seek loss of power and ego to redress the balance and somehow complete themselves. It opens up a fashionable fin-de-siècle landscape in which powerful people enjoy chastisement from their significant other and are off licking boots and submitting to the whip. Anita Phillips suggests that elements of masochism could be used to spice up jaded sexual palates and so be a useful tool in preserving relationships – the couple that flays together stays together. Her description of the way a masochistic fantasy plays out is convincing, illuminating and exciting … Masochism sounds like a lifestyle solution, masochism is powerful because it breaks the rules. Its fantasies are transgressive, subversive, often compulsive. In its pursuit of pleasure it embraces pain, humiliation, degradation and shame. It is the dark side of sex. That is part of its spice, part of the need it fulfils Take that away, accept it, integrate it, celebrate it and it loses much of its power and become not only anodyne but mildly ridiculous. Some things should be kept in the dark – they taste better that way. -- source link