doitbro: “What the fuck is going on here?” I heard a deep masculine voice say, startling me awake. “
doitbro: “What the fuck is going on here?” I heard a deep masculine voice say, startling me awake. “Mmmph,” what the…where am I? How did I get here? “Mmmph, guh-umph,” What the fuck is in my mouth? Who are these guys? “Mmph, mmph,” Why are they all looking at me like that? “Don’t read it out loud,” One of them said, but then they all fell silent. “MMMPH!” I tried to insist with my eyes, but they were all intently reading something that must’ve been just behind my head. “First dibs,” The guy in the middle said with a nod. “Second dibs,” The one next to him spoke quickly. “I want to go last,” The one in the red shorts smirked, “but let’s finish our run and head back here after lunch.” They all laughed, and nodded, and expressed their enthusiasm at this idea. I looked terrified at each member of the group, trying to silently communicate that I wanted to be rescued. They either didn’t notice or didn’t care, since none of them took pity on me. “I’m going to fart on him before we leave,” The one with second dibs declared. “Me too,” The one on his right agreed. “I wouldn’t mind taking a piss before we keep going,” The one wearing blue shorts said. The guy in the red shorts laughed, “Anyone else?” I squirmed as two more volunteered to piss and another declared his desire to fart. “I’ll fart too,” Red shorts nodded, “but I get to go last. I always want to go last.” He smirked again, and several of them smiled. “Mrmph! Mrrmumph!” Was unfortunately my only response. -- source link