sliceofbri:I MADE A PROMISE THAT I WOULD NEVER MAKE ANOTHER ONE OF THESE FUCKING POSTS BUT WHO THE F
sliceofbri:I MADE A PROMISE THAT I WOULD NEVER MAKE ANOTHER ONE OF THESE FUCKING POSTS BUT WHO THE FUCK CARES I’VE GOT KNOWLEDGE TO SHARE WITH THE WORLD SO IT’S THE FUCKING SUGAR SCRUB CRAYON LIPSTICK BITCH BACK WITH ANOTHER FUCKING TUTORIAL.I BET YOU THOUGHT THAT PHOTO WAS JUST SOME FUCKING CHOCOLATE WELL YOU THOUGHT WRONG MUTHAFUCKA THAT SHIT IS CHOCOLATE GANACHE AND IT IS WAY EASIER TO HANDLE THAN MELTED CHOCOLATE AND IT HAS ABOUT A BAJILLION USESGET YOURSELF SOME GOOD ASS DARK OR SEMISWEET CHOCOLATE LIKE THE KIND YOU BAKE WITH OR GO GET SOME FANCY ASS CHUNKS FROM WHOLE FOODS JUST NO MILK OR WHITE CHOCOLATE ALL DARK BABY ABOUT 8-12 OZ OR ABOUT 2 CUPS OR 1 STANDARD BAG OF CHIPS HOWEVER THE FUCK YOU WANNA MEASURE IT JUST PUT IT IN A GODDAMN BOWL ALREADYI HOPE YOU’RE READY BECAUSE THINGS ARE ABOUT TO GET HEAVY. HEAVY WHIPPING CREAM THAT IS. GET ABOUT A CUP OF THAT THERE SWEET LIQUID OR 8 OZ AND HEAT IT WITH YOUR EYE LAZERS OR THE MICROWAVE I DON’T FUCKING CARE MAYBE YOU EVEN BUST OUT A SAUCEPAN JUST DON’T LET THAT SHIT BOIL YOU WANT IT PRETTY FUCKIN HOT THONOW POUR IT ONTO YOUR CHIPS AND START WHISKING. IF YOU DON’T HAVE A WHISK, JUST THROW THE BOWL AT A WALL A FEW TIMES BECAUSE YOU PROBABLY LIVE IN THE STONE AGE OR ARE A BROKE COLLEGE KID WHY ARE YOU MAKING GANACHE ANYWAYAT FIRST IT’S GUNNA LOOK LIKE SOME WEIRD CHUNKY MILK AND YOU’RE PROBABLY GOING TO SPLASH IT ON THE COUNTER A BIT AND YOU’LL BE LIKE WHAT THE FUCK BRI YOUR INSTRUCTIONS ARE FUCKING SHIT BUT KEEP WHISKING AND YOU WILL BE REWARDED WITH SMOOTH VELVET GLORY GODDAMN JUST LOOK AT IT FLOW I NEED A MOMENTOKAY SO NOW YOU HAVE THIS BOWL OF GOOP AND YOU’RE SAYING OKAY BRI NOW WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO WITH THIS SHIT SLOW THE FUCK DOWN I’M GETTING THERE NOW THIS SHIT CAN BE USED FOR FUCKING EVERYTHING YOU CAN GLAZE CAKES WITH IT TO MAKE THEM GLOSSY AND FANCYOR YOU CAN PIPE IT LIKE FROSTING TO MAKE ALL KINDS OF PRETTY BAKED GOODSOR YOU CAN WHIP IT WITH A MIXER OR YOUR BIONIC ARMS TO MAKE A FROSTING-LIKE SUBSTANCE YOU MAY THINK THAT’S ENOUGH BUT I’M NOT FUCKING FINISHED YET OKAY SO YOU JUST SIT TIGHT YOU CAN WARM IT UP AND POUR IT ON ICE CREAM FOR THE BEST SUNDAE YOU’VE EVER HADOKAY RAPID FIRE NOW YOU CAN TOSS POPCORN IN SOME FOR CHOCOLATE POPCORN OR YOU CAN DIP COOKIES OR CRACKERS OR BISCUITS IN IT TO MAKE THEM SEEM HELLA FANCY OR YOU CAN STIR A BIG OL’ GLOP OF IT INTO WARM MILK FOR THE BEST COCOA YOU’VE EVER TASTEDAND LAST BUT NOT LEAST IT IS THE EASIEST AND MOST FUCKING DELICIOUS CHOCOLATE FONDUE YOU COULD EVER HOPE TO HAVE IN YOUR MOUTH HOLESO THERE YOU GO MOTHERFUCKERS NOT ONLY HOW TO MAKE GANACHE BUT HOW TO USE IT 1001 DIFFERENT WAYS NOW GO FORTH AND BE HAPPIER THAN A STOCK PHOTO WOMAN EATING CHOCOLATE CLASS DISMISSED MOTHERFUCKERS -- source link
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