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wooooooooloooooooo:shamelesslydrawingin:brancadoodles:officialsupervillain:shrexy-seance:goswlogpncmcrfobpjstltruaqhtma42:hiddenagender14:entitiy-4:croftergamer:eg515:theboywhocan11:theleakypen:lourdesdeath:cobaltmoony:silentwalrus1:justgot1:cricketcat9:artykyn:prideling:gunvolt:im going to have a strokeInstead try…Person A: You know… the thingPerson B: The “thing”?Person A: Yeah, the thing with the little-! *mutters under their breath* Como es que se llama esa mierda… THE FISHING RODAs someone with multiple bilingual friends where English is not the first language, may I present to you a list of actual incidents I have witnessed:Forgot a word in Spanish, while speaking Spanish to me, but remembered it in English. Became weirdly quiet as they seemed to lose their entire sense of identity.Used a literal translation of a Russian idiomatic expression while speaking English. He actually does this quite regularly, because he somehow genuinely forgets which idioms belong to which language. It usually takes a minute of everyone staring at him in confused silence before he says “….Ah….. that must be a Russian one then….”Had to count backwards for something. Could not count backwards in English. Counted backwards in French under her breath until she got to the number she needed, and then translated it into English.Meant to inform her (French) parents that bread in America is baked with a lot of preservatives. Her brain was still halfway in English Mode so she used the word “préservatifes.” Ended up shocking her parents with the knowledge that apparently, bread in America is full of condoms.Defined a slang term for me……. with another slang term. In the same language. Which I do not speak.Was talking to both me and his mother in English when his mother had to revert to Russian to ask him a question about a word. He said “I don’t know” and turned to me and asked “Is there an English equivalent for Нумизматический?” and it took him a solid minute to realize there was no way I would be able to answer that. Meanwhile his mom quietly chuckled behind his back.Said an expression in English but with Spanish grammar, which turned “How stressful!” into “What stressing!”Bilingual characters are great but if you’re going to use a linguistic blunder, you have to really understand what they actually blunder over. And it’s usually 10x funnier than “Ooops it’s hard to switch back.”I use Spanish and English daily, none is my native language. When I’m tired or did not have enough sleep I loose track of who to address in which language;  I caught myself explaining something in Spanish to my English-speaking friends more than once. When I’m REALLY tired I’ll throw some Polish words in the mix. There is nothing more painful than bad fake Spanglish by an American writer. Bilingual people don’t just randomly drop words in nonsensical places in their sentences ffs. “I’m muy tired! I think I’ll go to my cama and go to sleep!“ Nobody does that.From my bilingual parents:- Only being able to do math in their original language. “Ok so that would beeeeee … *muttering* ocho por cuatro menos tres…”- Losing words and getting mad at you about it. “Gimme the - the - UGH, ESA COSA AHI’ CARAJO. The thing, the oven mitt. Christ.”- Making asides to you in Spanish even though you’ve told them to not do this as lots of people here speak Spanish. “Oye, mira esa, que cara fea.” “MOM FFS WE’RE IN A MEXICAN NEIGHBORHOOD.”- Swears in English don’t count.- Swears in Spanish mean you’d better fucking run, kid.- Introducing you to English-only Americans using your Spanish name so that they mispronounce your name for all eternity because that’s what your mom said your name was. “Hi Dee-yanna!” “sigh, Just call me Diana.” “Yeah but your mom said your name was Dee-yanna.” - Your parents give you a name that only makes sense in Spanish. “Your name is Floor?” “No, my name is Flor.” “FLOOR?” “Sigh.” - conjugating English words with Russian grammar and vice versa. Sometimes both at once, which is extra fun. самолет -> самолетас -> самолетасы- when vice versa, dropping English articles entirely. The, a, an: all gone. e.g. “I go to store and buy thing, I fix car and go to place.” This also happens when i am very tired - speaking English with heavy accent you don’t actually have - when my family and I are switching over fast, we say the English words in a very heavy Russian accent that mostly doesn’t show up otherwise bonus: - keysmashing in the wrong language when your keyboard is still switched over- using ))))) instead of :))) or other culture-specific emoji/typing quirksall of the aboveI don’t actually speak Tagalog, but my mom’s Filipino. One of my favorite things is when she forgets how to preposition, so something is ‘in the table’. SOMEHOW I NEVER REBLOGGED THIS?!?!?!?!? this is one of my absolute favorite posts on all of tumblralso, to add to the pile of fun things bilinguals do: cackling over bilingual puns that nobody else in the room will get and then being completely unable to explain why this is funnyInteresting. Reblogging this for future reference.my favourite is that feeling when you have the perfect response to something but halfway through saying it you realised it’s in a language the other person doesn’t speak so you either just kind of… fade out, or try desperately to make it make sense in the other languagetrying to explain something that only makes sense on your native language. Ive take French for about seven years and had one friend who would laugh at my pronunciation. Then he took French and came to me and said “I understand now.”I’ve been taking Spanish classes for three years now. I will not even try to pretend that I’m fluent. I still have a long ways to go. However, I accidentally adopted a habit my first Spanish teacher had which was to ask questions like “where is the [blank]?” Or “how do you say…?” So, occasionally, I’ll be in the middle of a conversation with a friend or family member who only speaks English, and I’ll just stop and go ¿cómo se dice? And get so many weird looks. It’s very fun. What happens a lot for me is that I’ll be in spanish class and I dont know the word in spanish and for some reason can’t remember what it is in english so I’ll say it in arabic and confuse everyone.Also a big bilingual mood is not knowing the english translation of food that only really exists in your native language. Like, what the fuck is طعمية‎ in english????? I could say falafel, but this is something technically differentthis reminds me of the eu sunt не femeie incident,,,,,,i think the funniest thing about this post is that this is the ao3 font. someone screenshotted this from ao3.One of my best friends speaks two languages I can speak, though neither is my native language. We usually write in English, out of custom, even though her native language is actually Spanish. When we’re in voice/video calls, however, I often have trouble understanding English sometimes, so she switches to Spanish mid-sentence and we continue the convo in Spanish with mixed switching to English when needed. Or I can’t remember a word in one of the languages and switch to the other and simple begin speaking the the other. Or I mix in Portuguese hope she’ll figure it out from closeness to Spanish and context.Reading entire books and watching entire shows and being unable to identify, sometimes right afterwards, in which language was it onPanicking in the native language. A classic. Will never understand how some ESL youtubers don’t switch to English when playing horror/anxiety-inducing games. Also counts to frustration. (”Are you okay, Link?” “NÃO. I’M NOT OKAY. NÃO TÔ BEM NÃO FILHO DA PUTA DO CARALHO”)Related to the one above and already mentioned: cursing is only valid when in your native language. Sure, you can offend people using English, but if you resorted to “vai pra puta que te pariu seu desgraçado de uma porra, enfia um rojão no cu e voa” shit got seriousRelated still, cursing heavily under your breath and making something up when caughtGetting an accent out of nowhere. I can speak American English without an outsider accent but sometimes I just. Get tired of rolling the “r” and I can’t do it anymore for some reason. Alternatively, speaking once with someone with an specific regional accent and adopting it for life.Struggling to make people pronounce your name right when they are unable or unwilling, giving up, adopting a nickname not to be bitter (hi, hello, that’s me)Puns and wordplay that only work in your language. You want to share them. You cry.Having trouble with propositions. It seems like a common issue but “on, in, at” etc aren’t that easy to figure out. I mistake them constantly.Inadvertedly glitching out and switching to another language when talking to someone, sometimes mid-sentence, and having them look at you in awe and confusion like they pressed a button in reality or something before you realize (or they point out) they can’t understand what you’re sayingHaving to deal with (mostly US) native English speakers bolstering the strength and difficulty and poetry of their language, oh it’s one of the hardest languages to learn in the world because we have so many words from so many roots, when. No, it’s actually not. English grammar is incredibly easy compared to most languages. But because you have 5000 noninterchangeable words that mean the same thing, but are used in different contexts (safe/secure, see/watch, etc), an astounding number of verbal expressions instead of one-word verbs (pick up, look out, look after, etc) and absolutely no rule or logic regarding pronunciation and written language (WHY IS “RECIPE” WRITTEN/SPOKEN LIKE FRENCH, YOU’RE NOT FRENCH), you might think so. But English isn’t hard, it’s cheating. It has no logic. It’s not fair.On the other hand, the ridiculous amount of different words you can use makes bullshitting in English a lot easier once you get a bit more savvy. Up to and including academic essays, facebook arguments, and fanfiction.Watching in horror people adopting English barbarisms in the most despicable way, by using false cognates as actual cognates.Posting in all languages you’re comfortable in + English, and telling people to use the fcking embedded gtranslate when they complain(I’m making this all too personal)Always learning something new. Which is amazing, honestly. (”Oh you mean it’s spoken like that?! That’s so cool! Okay: *repeats sentence correctly*”)Parroting your friends whenever they use a word or term you’re unfamiliar with until you learn itPronouncing words like you read them following NONEXISTENT RULES and getting frustratedAll of this and the sentence I use the most is ‘what’s the word for…’ brain.exe stopped working So this is a voltron fanfic right??? This was a klance fic I’m calling itAaaaargh, I’ve seen this post when it had like two additions, it’s so much longer now, I love it!!!! (I see you Brazilian person, cursing like a sailor and making me cackle maddly)Honestly, all of these! Cursing does not count in another language and being bilingual (or polyglot) just means being confused in several languages.Portuguese is my first language, but I’ve been speaking English for over a decade and all my closest friends and family also speak English, so we talk in both languages the entire time, which means it’s hard as fuck to only speak one of them, no matter which one.If I’m startled or distracted, I tend to speak in English, if I’m trying to explain something very complicated, I sometimes reverse back to Portuguese. I can no longer write fiction in Portuguese because I only read in English, so that’s where my vocabulary wants to go. Some weird, funny shit my Brazilian friends and I have:- One friend forgot the word “age” and instead asked someone else’s “year’s length”- We are all terribly amused by saying things in English the way they would be pronounced if you read them in Portuguese- Similarly, we love using literal translations that make no sense unless you speak both languages- The possibilities for puns are endless -- source link

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