ayearofdan:Here is a story, a raw real story a woman shared with me about her experience with Dan

ayearofdan: Here is a story, a raw real story a woman shared with me about her experience with Dan and how this has affected her and made her feel. She is not alone. And he deserves to be held accountable for what he did for so long.  Text transcription: “I can’t help but feel such a shame in all of this.. and I don’t know where to put these feelings. Who was that man? Why did he do that to me? Why did he make me feel like that and then leave me to figure out the rest on my own? What did I see in him? What did I want from him? What was I thinking??? I’m such a sensitive person by nature and I liked how soft he was and what he saw in me was what I see in myself and maybe this won’t be so badAnd now I know how many of us there are and what that means he see us as in the endAnd what are we? Just something warm. But it’s been seven years and I’m a different person and I don’t think he ever cared and I’m not asking him to I just want him to know that I’m a human being with a face and a life outside of his safe warm cocoon. The closer you are to him the more he can do I guess… It’s just so strange to see this happen. It’s all so twisted and upsetting and sadI just liked watching people play video games. I genuinely find entertainment in watching two people play a video game together and have banter and watch the story unfoldI have ever since my two older sisters played donkey Kong country on the snes and there were only two controllers and you’re too young so just watchAnd the snes I still own has bite marks in the controller wires from where I would a bendy mindedly chew wide eyed on the characters and the story and the people with me And when I grew up I used to watch YouTube to see other people do that so I could relive that memory and see the progress of games I’ll never play but wanted to see played outIt started with two best friends play. mat and pat. But they’re not friends anymore so that channel disbanded eventually And I liked egoraptor, and was subscribed to his channel so I saw that first video announcing his new project with him and this goofy dude I didn’t know yetSo I watch jontron and eventually I’m distancing myself from that train wreckAnd then Dan shows up and its like oh who is? And then you hear his voice and the stories he tells and you’re relating to so much and I dunno he seems nice So I listen to his music and it’s relating to that internet humour and weird al vibe and the sound is funAnd I just think maybe the comments in those early videos saying how much this guy sucks and how bad of a job he’s doing arent valid so I look him up and oh wow he has a Facebook? Maybe I’ll just send him a kind message saying I liked his music and that I think he’s taking on the responsibility of his new job well and I wish him well Then he responds and I begin to project so many emotions and fantasies I guess. And I really think he knows that and that’s why he does it. Because I was just a young woman figuring out sex for the first time and what that means. Who I wanted to do that too. What that means about me. All my other brief drunk and sad experiences with men I didn’t want to do or be a part of anymore. Maybe men can be something I want to show that side of me to. I’ve never regretted sex. But I don’t know what to do with the shame I feel as I age. Just.. why did I do it. Why did I feel like I could do it. What was he offering me that meant I wanted to get on a bus and met him at a hotel room in a small gross city in a different country And then to just stop because I’m so far away and he’s so busy and what am I doing with my life in comparison and we all just lose touch in the end with people and that’s how life works but what does it mean when it’s so many of us and so consistently Who am I now, and how much of me was because of the people I’ve met. And I’ve met Dan. [IMAGE: Dan’s contact information, blurred] I don’t know what to do with this person in my phone, if they are even there anymore or if I’m even able to send him a message But I thought we could be friends. Friends at least. Because I’m a polyamorous person too. I want a wife and a boyfriend and a girlfriend and then a few lovely one night stands with fabulous people with beautiful stories to tell that I can watch unfold I want lovers of all kinds. I have so much love to give. I am desperate for affection I want to be loved because I truly believe that in the end love is the only thing that matters. Love is the only thing that matters!! And I thought I saw that in him and I thought he understood but he’s part of this celebrity culture I can’t explain that I kind of knew at one point in my life so I thought I was hot shit and wanted everyone to know I was hot shit but now I know that love is the only thing that matters and we all have a responsibility in love” I’m posting this as an update because already I’m getting hit with “Fake screencaps”. I think it’s ridiculous to think I’d fake screencaps of a message chain in which I’m the only one talking? But alright. I’ve been given permission to share the whole cap of Dan’s contact info that they have. That is a picture that does not exist anywhere other than this person’s world. Because this is real. It happened. Stop looking away.Stop twisting yourself into pretzels to defend this man. He hurt people. He hurt this woman and more like her. Just acknowledge it. [Edit for better, closer quality] -- source link

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