nerdgasmgirl:Things That Members Say That Seem Fine But Are Actually Really Fucked up: I’ve been c
nerdgasmgirl: Things That Members Say That Seem Fine But Are Actually Really Fucked up: I’ve been camming for a while and I think any camgirl/boy/other that’s been in the game for a while has gotten a lot of these and they’re damn tired of them. Guys, if you use these, please reconsider. I know some of you aren’t doing it on purpose but you know how you sometimes see a camgirl react really poorly to something that seems inoccuous and even polite? This is why. “You probably won’t answer this but…” I get a lot of these on tumblr, and I know a lot of other girls do too because I see it ALL. THE. TIME. This comment usually prefaces a wordy message about how you’re such a fan and you’ve been watching for X amount of time and then usually either a complaint, a request or something rude and derogatory. It seems like a simple enough sentence, in fact, it seems polite but it’s not nearly that simple. Hidden under that polite facade there’s a deep passive aggressive message.See, by implying that we won’t answer you’re pretty much saying “You’re a bitch if you don’t answer this but…” or “I know you’re really busy but let me manipulate your emotions and make you feel guilty for not giving me attention.” It’s not cool, man, it’s passive aggressive and it puts us in a weird position. We can either not anwer and prove you “right” or we can answer your question and show everyone how we can be pushed around.These questions are almost always “anon” so there’s pretty much no way to answer without posting them on our blogs. If we don’t answer we get another anon message about how we never answer our asks. Never mind that if I didn’t answer it it usually means you asked something highly inappropriate, something stupid, something I don’t want on my blog or something I’m just not comfortable asking all my followers end up seeing is that I’m apparently ignoring good, sweet anons everywhere.“You look so much better than…” I’m so sick of this one. It’s a compliment, I should be grateful right? But, guys, it’s never okay to put down someone else in the name of raising me up. Imagine if you were another model or just another woman and you were watching me streaming live; imagine that some guy comes in and says “You have such great nostrils, not like the nostrils on all the other girls here.” Now, that poor girl has to wonder if her bad night was because of her nose flaring too much.Okay, that’s not something anyone is likely to say but you know what I mean. “Your boobs are amazing, not like those fake one.” Guys, it takes a lot to get surgery, especially elective surgery. Don’t invalidate someone’s choice to have their body match their mental form so easily? And besides, there are some amazing fake boobs out there.This goes for any part of me you want to compliment. A compliment is not a compliment when you drag someone down with it. I never want to be flattered in such a way that alienates others. I never want to be told I’m prettier than someone else, hell, I don’t even want to hear if you think I’m prettier than my twin sister. We’re fucking twins. There is no reason to turn a compliment into a competition.“I bet you make so much money…”Guys…don’t do this. Don’t ask us about money, don’t assume how much we make. After I’ve been in private for a long time don’t make comments about me becoming a millionaire. It’s dumb and most of the time you really don’t understand our monetary situation. For instance, my prices on SM are $3.99 premium and $7.99 exclusive, even though you’re spending that per minute, I’m actually only getting 35% of that and since I’m considered and independent contractor I’m liable for up to 30% of my take home money at the end of the year.Yes, camgirls pay taxes. If the government considers this a legitimate and taxable income then I think we can all agree that this in fact a job.I want to ask this one question because I don’t think any of you have thought of it this way… When you’ve just spent $60 on a private show or however much, do camgirls turn around and ask you how much money you make at your job? Would you answer if they did? Asking how much money a person makes isn’t something you do, it’s rude and I hope your parent/guardian taught you better than that.Beyond just the general rudeness, when I’m streaming live on SM I’m not allowed to even mention that the site takes 65% of my earnings. I can get into big trouble for talking about how much I make. I can get in trouble for a lot of things. I can get in trouble for talking about skype, emails, twitter, amazon…hell, I can get in trouble for mentioning that I’m streaming from Streamate just in case you’re watching from an affiliate site like 4cam or liveviolet. So, not only is it rude but when you ask I risk getting banned and my income going down to literally $0 or even negatives if they decide to fine me as well as banning me from working.“I’m such a fan, can you do x, y, z…”This almost exclusively comes from someone that’s never taken me private, never seen one of my shows or even bought one of my videos. It’s always a request for something that I either can’t or won’t do. “Will you ever post a free video for everyone?” or “Would you ever consider making a video of my very detailed and personal fetish that literally no one else in the world would ever find sexy?” Dude, just no.And I’m not talking about custom requests, those are entirely different. Custom requests are fine because they are usually respectful and understand that you will be paying for my time. I’m not talking about those, I’m talking about the guys that are just making “suggestions” They want you to make a video, pic set, show that caters exactly to them on the off chance that they might pay for it. It’s a roundabout way of saying “Dance, monkey, dance.”Beyond the fact that these requests ignore that this is literally my job they also put me in an odd position any time they’re put in a place where others can see them. Not everyone knows all the work that goes on behind the scenes, all they ever see is me having orgasms and me having fun. “You seem so smart…”I get this one a LOT and it really has started to bug me. It’s a compliment, I suppose but a backward one. Even if they leave it at just “You seem so smart…” there’s this implied finisher of “To be masturbating on camera like this.” There’s this underlying implication that only someone that’s too stupid to do anything else would be on cam. People seem almost upset and offended when they find out that I’m actually an RN and choose to cam instead of working at a hospital 12hrs a day while also being a mom and a student. Like…seriously?This idea that we’re all dumb or damaged in some way is just entirely too common. It goes hand in hand with the idea that we must be completely ashamed of our occupation and hide it from everyone. I can’t count how many times I’ve been asked “Does your boyfriend know what you do?” Uhm…no, I have this entirely hidden life from my Master. He has no clue what I do. I lock myself in my camroom for hours at a time and have convinced him that I have severe Tourette’s that causes me to moan and giggle while talking about a million rambling things for hours at a time. I do it in front of a camera for…reasons. Of course he fucking knows, you twat.I am neither ashamed or in hiding and yes, I have a college degree and I’m working my way toward my second. My intelligence or lack thereof has nothing to do with my job. For me, camming was a choice of logic and convenience. I could either work 12hr shifts while simultaneously going to school and trying to squeeze in being a good parent or I could be an amazing mom while going to school and only having to work a few hours a night to be able to pay my bills. I kiss my kid goodnight while tucking her into bed. I have time to take her to the park almost every day. My whole family knows and while that’s not typical of everyone what does it matter? Do you tell your family and friends every aspect of your life? If you were scrubbing toilets at your local McD’s would you be compelled to tell everyone about it in gruesome detail? I mean, for the most part, people don’t really talk about their jobs in that much detail. “What do you do?” Is usually answered with a simple sentence or two so why does everyone either think that we’re either lying to everyone we know or giving them every juicy detail of how we masturbated for three hours while getting paid for it?Beyond that, if I told you that you could pay your bills by talking about the things you’re passionate about and having dozens of orgasms a day would you seriously be like “Nah, man, getting paid for orgasms and talking about my favorite things? I’m too smart for that.” >.> Just don’t say this. Don’t imply we’re too smart for our job because believe it or not the skill sets required for camming require a lot of intelligence. We have to understand all aspects of marketing, editing, promoting, time management, filming, understanding our market, business sense, intensive tax prep and filing, IT, sound specialist, makeup artist, lighting, and the ability to keep a pleasant smile on our face while some asshat insists that we’re just dumb whores. -- source link