rosalarian:liberal-lesbophobia:badI identified as a lesbian when I made this comic. The comments on

rosalarian:liberal-lesbophobia:badI identified as a lesbian when I made this comic. The comments on this post are why I never got along with most other lesbians. To be called “lesbophobic” when literally all I do with my life is contribute to lady-lovin’ culture is not just upsetting, it’s wrong.I was never a “gold star” and that made me “contaminated” to a lot of lesbians. I was 99% attracted to women, but had rare crushes on boys. I figured that we don’t call white people who are “1/64th Cherokee on my mother’s side” biracial, because outlying statistics don’t really define us, so calling myself bisexual wasn’t correct. For 15 years, I was absolutely a lesbian.The thing about the word “lesbian” is that it isn’t a scientific term. It’s a social term, and it doesn’t have a strict definition. Consider that the word lesbian comes from the birthplace of Sappho, who was actually bisexual. I still stand by my statement that a homoromantic bisexual or biromantic homosexual can be considered a lesbian because some people put more emphasis on sexual attraction and some put more emphasis on romantic attraction when determining their identities. That is up to them and not anybody else.I don’t have a problem with lesbians, even though I don’t identify that way anymore. (And as an aside: y’all loooooove sexual fluidity so long as it’s only flowing toward getting more gay dontcha.) I have a problem with gatekeeping, holier-than-thou elitists who would rather disqualify a large chunk of the lesbian population than welcome them into the fold. I was a lesbian. Now I’m not. And it’s not because I fucked too many boys to qualify anymore. It’s because I did some soul-searching and queer now feels more honest. I’ve only dated women for the past 15 years, I have a girlfriend I intend to spend my life with, I move through society with all the disadvantages of being a lesbian. By my own definition, I could still consider myself a lesbian. Homoromantic pansexual or whatever.But when I did identify as a lesbian, when all I wanted was girls and nothing else, I was surrounded by some snobby, elitist lesbians. I was the “fake geek girl” of lesbians. They’d quiz me, fling a bunch of narrow criteria at me for entry into this exclusive club. I didn’t pass. It really felt exactly the same as going into a comic book store and having a bunch of guys there tell me I wasn’t really a comic fan even though I do it for a living. They made me more ashamed of being a lesbian than church ever did. I prayed that I could be bisexual just so I could have some kind of community to support me. I only dated bisexual women because they didn’t give a shit if I was “tainted.” Finding the queer community was like removing a 50lb weight from my chest. I identify as queer despite only having romantic feelings for women because the bullying I experienced from other lesbians while I was growing up left me feeling too ostracized to even want to fight to be included anymore.Let’s look at some of the comments on this post. “This is the worst thing in the world and I’m suing the artist for making me see it” “Non lesbians need to fock off and leave us asshole dykes alone” “Idk who made this comic but they need to not even talk to lesbians ever again” One comment is just a bunch of knife emojis. Most of them just assuming I didn’t live 15 years openly and loudly identifying as a lesbian with all that experience just because my opinion didn’t validate their elitist views.I’m writing this because I know I’m far from the only girl who identified as a lesbian but was told by other lesbians that I didn’t get to be part of the club. There’s so many reasons we fall short. Once had a crush on a boy. Too femme. Has had a penis. Not a gold star. I want you to know you’re not alone, and your identity is valid. If you look inside yourself and “lesbian” feels the most honest, you keep using that word. Don’t let other people tell you not to. You deserve a seat at this table if you want it. You can take my seat. I’m not using it anymore. But it was a good and comfortable seat while I sat in it. Nice velvet cushions. I got it all warmed up for you. -- source link
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