polizwrites:feliciates:jayleeg:theactualcluegirl:mamalaz:The relationship between Tony and Howard St

polizwrites:feliciates:jayleeg:theactualcluegirl:mamalaz:The relationship between Tony and Howard Stark feat. Steve Rogers.Bonus:One of the things that never fails to PISS ME OFF about MCU fandom is how nobody ever addresses how fucking UNFAIR all of this is to Steve himself! Steve didn’t make Howard act like a douchewad; Steve didn’t seduce him, or court his favor, or do anything to try and get Howard to put him onto such a high pedestal that Tony would spend legitimate effort trying to knock Steve off it every time he’s in an insecure mood. No, Steve fought a war, in the best way he knew how, and if that included dying, then fine, it included dying. He doesn’t deserve Tony whacking him over the head with Howard’s failings as a dad every time he turns around. That was never Steve’s fault, but Tony never lets him forget about it either.What @theactualcluegirl said!!!As a parent I get especially angry about this. Because by pinning blame on Steve, who is 100% without fault in this scenario, they’re excusing Howard’s shitty parenting and culpability. And that’s disturbing.Steve is not responsible for Howard’s issues.…The only one responsible for Howard’s issues was Howard.If one truly believes in accountability and they want to be accountable for their actions, then part of accountability is not creating or accepting excuses. Not only isn’t Steve responsible for Howard’s behavior and Howard’s weird Steve fixation, Steve isn’t AWARE of it.  Steve comes out of the ice remembering Howard as merely a friend. For Steve all of Tony’s resentment and hostility comes out of left field.  Maybe Tony telling Steve he grew up hating Steve at least was the dawning of understanding. Yes, yes yes -  Howard’s  shitty parenting/putting Steve on a pedestal wasn’t Steve’s fault at all;  but Tony’s resentment is equally understandable.  I found that rewatching the movies + Agent Carter in chronological (instead of release) order really gave me a better understanding of Tony as a person. I wasn’t a big fan of his prior to that. Once I could see contextually what it would have been like for Tony, growing up with a father who felt he had already done his One Great Thing, a father who never got over losing Steve, a father you always suspected was judging you against Steve (and finding you wanting). That fucks a person up. Now, Tony is a grown ass man, and while he is as repressed emotionally as they come, he could have found a healthier way to say “I hate you for reasons that have nothing to do with you and everything to do with how your pal Howard acted about you” PRIOR to Civil War, maybe preventing a lot of the hurt feelings. Still, the resentment is understandable. Frankly, it’s possibly healthier than the other most likely alternative,which would have been translating his father’s view of Steve into hero worship and building up an image of Steve in his mind that a real-world Steve could never meet. Better to be resentful than crushed by yet another idol. At least if Tony resents Steve, Steve doesn’t have the power to let him down or abandon him like the other important parental authority figures (his father and Obadiah).  -- source link

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