cleverbrute: This has happened to me with more than one lover, where she would want to cover up her
cleverbrute: This has happened to me with more than one lover, where she would want to cover up her body or be naked only in the dark. They seemed surprised that I really wanted to see them in their full glory, including a round belly or stretch marks or a flat chest or a C-section scar or whatever.My honest words in those situations: “I want to see all of you … I want to touch all of you … You look beautiful.”For me, this seems natural: it’s your lover, and you ought to adore them. But in each of those moments of self-consciousness I learned something, I hope, about the psychological scars we carry from a lifetime of internalizing others’ judgments to the point that we judge ourselves most harshly of all. And women get it the *worst*, especially when it comes to body image, because of deeply fucked-up standards in our society.Touch your lover. Inhale her. Help her to be more comfortable in her skin. Give her so much adoration that she can’t help but unwind some of the tensions and fears she’s been carrying inside for ages. Whether you’re with her one time or ten thousand, make damn sure that she knows what it is to be worshiped. -- source link