phantomrose96:I don’t know if this is common knowledge or not, but this scene here is the first, and
phantomrose96:I don’t know if this is common knowledge or not, but this scene here is the first, and only time Edward criesin the series. From the day he and Al burned down their home until now, this isthe only time.Ed didn’t cry when he and Al discovered what had become ofNina. He didn’t cry when she was killed. He didn’t cry when Scar destroyed mostof Al’s body, or when Scar was moments away from killing him. He didn’t crywhen Al accused him of creating a fake soul and binding it to armor, ofinventing a brother as some kind of sick joke. He didn’t cry when he learnedHughes had died, or when he confronted Gracia and admitted the murder waslikely his fault. He didn’t cry listening to Al admit that he was at his wit’send, that he couldn’t stand all the nights alone anymore. He didn’t cry when helearned Scar had killed the Rockbells after saving his life, or when Hohenheimaccused him of running away. He didn’t cry when he discovered the thing he’dtransmuted wasn’t actually Trisha, or when Envy told him they were doomed todie inside Gluttony’s failed portal, or when Bradley took Winry hostage, orwhen the fight with Kimblee left him with a ten foot steel beam puncturing hisside. He didn’t cry when Pride hijacked Al’s lifeless body, or when he let Albe locked up in total darkness with Pride, or when Father took them captive andused them to kill everyone in Amestris.And he didn’t cry when Al sacrificed his own soul to save Ed’slife.No. He’s gotten angry; he’s yelled; he’s exploded, but he’s never cried. This is the only time, and it’s when Hohenheim tells Ed to his face thathe loves them, more than anything in the world, and only wants for them to behappy—that everything that happened had been his fault, as their father, as an adult, as the one who should havebeen protecting them, and not Ed’s.And Ed bawls.Here’s why: Ed hatesHohenheim, and will easily admit it, but he doesn’t hate Hohenheim in the wayhe hates other people. Ed enjoys talking smack about those he genuinely hates—he’lltalk about wanting to beat Scar bloody for everything he’s done, and wanting to kick thehomunculi’s asses for trying to use him and Al as pawns. Hell, he even enjoysjabbing at Roy for the personality traits he dislikes. Hohenheim is different though.Hohenheim is the only person Ed hates that he also hates talking about. Every timeHohenheim is mentioned, Ed responds with a quick, scathing comment aboutthe man and desperately changes the subject. And this is all because Ed doesn’t feel right about hishatred toward Hohenheim. For all the others, Ed hates them from a blamelessposition. The homunculi hurt innocent people, as does Scar, as does Kimblee. Edsecurely knows he’s the good guy who hates these bad guys. He’s the moral one,the blameless one, pushing back against a truly antagonistic force. And this iswhat Hohenheim is not. All of Ed’shatred toward Hohenheim stems from a place of projected guilt andself-loathing. Ed decided to try tobring Trisha back to life. Ed performedthe transmutation that got Al’s body taken away. Ed burned down their home and enlisted in the military, and Ed agreed to do awful things in order totry to fix what he’d done to Al. But, if Ed dials everything backwards, he canalmost justify rooting this in the fact that Hohenheim left them first.If Hohenheim had stuck around, maybe Trisha wouldn’t havedied. And if she had, Hohenheim could have stopped Ed and Al from doingsomething so reckless as human transmutation. He’s their father after all. He’s supposed to be responsible for them. But heleft, so Ed can almost rationalize the idea that it was Hohenheim’s leavingthat led to everything bad in the brothers’ lives.Ed knows this is grasping though, and he clings to it in partbecause he’s convinced Hohenheim hates him too. The clearest memory Ed has of hisfather is from the morning he left, standing stiff at the doorway, glaring down at Ed before heading out thedoor and never returning. (A glare which we later learn was the result ofHohenheim furiously holding back tears). Clearly, Hohenheim hated Ed and Al andTrisha enough to just walk out the door one day without saying goodbye. Ed’s probably spent a lot of sleepless nights wondering whatthey’d done wrong as a family—what he’d done wrong as a son—to make his ownfather not want him anymore.So when Ed talks about how he hates Hohenheim, it’s 100%intertwined with a hatred he feels for himself. And it’s an insecurity Ed wouldnever, ever admit to. Meeting Hohenheim again in episode 20 only works to confirmEd’s fears. Hohenheim is unbelievably cold to him—Hohenheim confirms that, yes, all of this was Ed’s fault. Edcommitted the taboo; Ed burned down their home as a means of hiding the memory.He’s disappointed in Ed. He hates him as a son. And he leaves, again, withoutgoodbye, because Hohenheim didn’t return home with any sort of change of heart.Learning the truth about Hohenheim only serves to scrambleEd’s feelings. He’s confused; he’s uncertain. He can rationalize Hohenheim’sdeparture in the context of preparing the counter-transmutation circle, butwhat about his memories of the man who glared at him, filled with hatred, andleft? What about the man who accused him of being a scared, stupid child who’sto blame for all his failures? What about the man who—if only he’d stuck around—couldmaybe have stopped Ed from doing all of this? The truth makes sense, but itdoes nothing to alleviate all the guilt and self-hatred Ed feels in relation toHohenheim, so he doesn’t soften to his father like Al does.Until this scene.Until finally, Hohenheim says everything Ed’s desperatelywanted to believe for the past ten years. Hohenheim loveshim. Hohenheim cares about him.Hohenheim blames himself for whathappened—he should have been around for Ed and Al, he should have been there to stop them fromdoing the impossible, he should have beentheir father. He wanted to. More than anything in the world, he wanted to just be there for them. Their familywas everything Hohenheim had loved in life, and he’s sorry, from the bottom ofhis heart he is sorry, for how heleft them behind. So sorry, that he wants to sacrifice his life in order to fixwhat little of it he can.And that’s what breaks Ed. He was strong enough not to cryat any other time, for any other reason, but in these few panels Hohenheim destroysthe mangled, tortured sense of fear and guilt and self-loathing that Ed had been harboring for adecade. Hohenheim loves him. Hohenheim is happy to be Ed’s father, proud, andso so sorry.For the first time, Ed cries. Because for the first time, he feels like he can call Hohenheim “Dad”. -- source link