sethcook:Juneteenth 2020 | : SorayaMy name is Seth Cook. I’m a Black transracial adoptee. I grew up
sethcook:Juneteenth 2020 | : SorayaMy name is Seth Cook. I’m a Black transracial adoptee. I grew up in a conservative, mostly-white family and city. My youth centered on an unchosen proximity to whiteness that I internalized as part of my identity. Racism was often trivialized as “a thing of the past”, and I never had a solid community to resonate with or share my discriminatory experiences to. Coming out as gay at 16 presented even more intersections I could never process. Analyzing my life at 24 now, I realize I was (and still am) living a reality I’ve actively suppressed: a Black person raised to be like a white person who now feels severely disconnected from both groups. I’ve never felt like I’ve had a culture because mine was stolen at an early age. But now, I’m reclaiming it.Since finishing college in 2018, I’ve been on an evolving journey of unpacking/unlearning. My commitment to ME has manifested as an intentional connection to and display of my Blackness. I was raised to disregard this side of me for so long that it’s actually felt unnatural to seek. I spent years feeling unqualified to speak on Black issues because I “wasn’t Black enough”. But my path to personal liberation couldn’t be taken without addressing the root of my emotional turmoil. I recently realized I had 2 choices: continue living with my identity crisis, or inch closer to the person I was meant to be. With zero confidence, I’ve chosen the latter.Despite 2020’s chaos (Trump, COVID-19, the uprising), I’ve reserved energy to work on my growth, by: holding my chosen family tightly, taking up space even when uncomfortable, and using my autonomy to say “No” when needed. In 2017, singer/songwriter SZA said something that stuck with me: “Ctrl [SZA’s album] is a concept. I’ve lacked control my whole life and I think I’ve craved it my whole life.” My version of ctrl is community. I’ve never felt accepted—anywhere. But instead of trying to keep gaining acceptance from others, I made a switch in 2020 to work on accepting myself regardless of other opinions. It’s cliché to say that, but that’s my truth. And owning my truth is the core of this newfound mission. -- source link
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