Look, I know you’re mad at me after that shit my buds and I pulled, but you don’t have the time to t

Look, I know you’re mad at me after that shit my buds and I pulled, but you don’t have the time to tell me off. Some of this mud has already turned to clay, and if you waste time bitching at me I’m going to spend enough Princely Privilege Points to keep you inside serving me until this truck is fucking covered in ceramic. What do you think my uncle would say if he comes home and sees his truck like this?Now, I’m perfectly happy to head inside and let you start cleaning this puppy up. The guys and I are heading into town tonight, and a nice clean truck can definitely help me score. I imagine you’re pretty tired after the mess we made this morning, so instead of mouthing off like a whiny bitch how about you just keep your mouth shut and wash the truck. Wash the truck and think about how you really can’t tell me what to do even if I’m not spending my Prince Points. I want you to start acting like you understand who has the power here, even when I’m not explicitly invoking Princely Privilege.If you just start washing the truck without bitching at me, I’ll even take responsibility for the fact that it’s still dirty when you inevitably fail to clean it completely before he catches you. Fact is, I’ll actually gain Prince Points for bailing you out, so you do kind of lose either way. It’s just that one way is the difficult, painful path of resisting your clever and vindictive Prince. The other way is the simple, easier path of backing down from conflict with me, because you know if you try to fight that I won’t just beat you: I’ll engineer an utterly humiliating and soul crushing defeat just like I did today.That’s what I thought. Eyes on my boots, in fact, why don’t you bow down on this hot uncomfortable driveway until I shout the codeword right before I walk in to the house. The codeword is “fairy”, it means that it’s time to appear and serve your Prince, it means my wishes are about to be granted. From now on, you’re going to help your Prince achieve his dreams and accomplish his goals. You’re going to do everything you can to make sure my wishes come true.Now bow in uncomfortable respect as your Prince walks by, and rise only when you hear me shout the word that means it’s time to do whatever the fuck I say. -- source link

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