Some Improvements to the Redwood ForestIt is with considerable ambivalence that we hereby announce t
Some Improvements to the Redwood ForestIt is with considerable ambivalence that we hereby announce the reopening of Muir Woods National Monument to the public this coming spring. Once again, this marvelous, ancient range of coastal redwoods and giant sequoias will welcome arboreal enthusiasts from around the globe. However, these visitors will now enjoy significant enhancements to the area, developed specifically according to the suggestions of previous guests.The most immediate of these costly renovations is a second, larger gift shop situated just beyond the perimeter of the site. Tourists in a hurry or disinclined to part with seven dollars on the matter of admission can now enjoy the convenience of purchasing a souvenir on the very edge of our parking lot. It may go without saying that this new facility is sure to alleviate some of the congestion within the inner, original gift shop.Despite the strident legal efforts of the Bureau for the Protection of Conspicuous Consumption, we have been granted the right to disable all mobile devices upon park entry with a harmless electromagnetic pulse. This is not an attempt to preserve an atmosphere of tech-less tranquillity, for the record: If you cannot resist the urge to “selfie,” use one of our designated tinted kiosks, where mirrors, lip gloss, and blowouts are provided for an additional fee.Madeline and I wrote this eco-horror for you. Read the rest at McSweeney’s. -- source link
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