(1/8) “His mother was Red Lake Nation American Indian. So we named him Redick, because we wanted to
(1/8) “His mother was Red Lake Nation American Indian. So we named him Redick, because we wanted to call him ‘Red.’ He was born the month I started doing heroin. And by the time he was five years old, we were living in a flop house with some serious gangsters. We’d sold all the furniture. There was no heat, no electricity. But Red must have thought everyone lived that way, because he never questioned it. He never asked why we weren’t eating. Or why I disappeared for days at a time. The moment I walked in the door he’d just jump into my arms. Like any five-year old would. So the guilt is heavy, man. It’s thick. He ended up being taken away by the county. It was a rightful case. His mother went to prison, and I was told to get sober or I’d lose my son for good. That night I wandered into a medical detox facility. It was winter in Minnesota, so they thought I was homeless and looking for a warm bed. And they were right about the homeless part. But I was serious about getting sober. I stayed for the next hundred days. Then did six months outpatient. When I finally found a job working as a line cook, the court let Red come live with me again. The two of us moved into my mother’s spare bedroom with everything we owned. I wasn’t ready to be a single father. The parenting classes helped a little, but I had no idea what I was doing. And Red was having a tough time. We hadn’t gotten him ready for school, so the poor guy never had a chance. He’d bang on his desk. He’d get up and leave the class. One day I had to bring a Child Protection officer with me to visit the principal’s office. It was so embarrassing, man. Everyone in that room knew it was my fault. Later that night Red and I were sitting together on the edge of the bed, in our little spare bedroom. And he tried to apologize to me. He told me he was sorry for being bad. ‘None of this is your fault,’ I told him. And I tried to explain everything. My trauma. My addiction. My choices. All the stuff that had led us to this point. And I think maybe I broke down a little bit. Because Red put his arm around me and pulled me close. This little, innocent 40 lb guy, ended up giving me the support I was trying to give him.” -- source link
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