skypirateking:systlin:kasaron:systlin:werebearbearbar:cracked:Why Everything You Know About Vikings
skypirateking:systlin:kasaron:systlin:werebearbearbar:cracked:Why Everything You Know About Vikings Is A LieTrue story - There are historical accounts (well, there’s at least one historical account) in which English people whine about how the Norse men bathe so often they’re able to seduce the local women away from their husbands.^^^ Yep. Turns out the women were way more into the hot well groomed muscular dudes who liked to smell nice.*Hot, well groomed men who liked to smell nice and knew their way around sharp objects.“I just don’t know why you couldn’t marry a local boy sweetie.” “What can I say dad, Hjalmar bathes regularly, smells nice, has shoulders, can wield a sword and can wield his sword ifyaknowwhatImean, and when he comes back from raids likes to shower me in rare gifts from overseas. Look at this necklace! The amber beads came from the lands of the Rus! Also, he’s teaching me how to shoot a bow and use a spear because he thinks it might be nice if I could go on raids too someday.”Hjalmar - Honey! I’m home! While I was out I picked you up a new bow and 44 arrows. It would have been 45 but I shot this boar for dinner with the one.**Drops boar on table**Oh and look what I picked up from France! **sets 12 bottles of floral perfume on countera** Half for you, half for me. I like the one in the blue bottle. I’m going to go clean up, I’ll be a while. Can you start prepping the boar for dinner?Elizabeth - **swoons first. Preps boar second. Goes out to shoot bow with Hjalmar after dinner** you’re cooking tomorrow, I want to practice with this more tomorrow.Hjalmar - of course! Need you ready for going viking next spring. -- source link