It’s not just that I’ve been reflecting a lot on trauma the last couple of years, I&rsqu
It’s not just that I’ve been reflecting a lot on trauma the last couple of years, I’ve also spent a great deal of time in therapy, talking with friends and reading about experiences, consequences and outcomes. The thing is, even after all that, I’m still not sure how much I’ve learned. It feels that there’s a wider discussion happening, but digging into that can take you decades back to ideas I wish we’d better spread a generation ago. And I’m uncomfortable with how some of these things are raised, addressed and supposedly resolved in a public sphere. It can make things that are supposed to be extremely sincere and intimate appear performative and ulterior. And then we feel cynical for our second-guessing. It’s difficult to write about this and I’ve hoped to put together something that will help other people. It’s taken me more than a year so far and yet I haven’t made much progress. I’ve never much cared for apologies because they so often feel like closing the door after the horse has bolted. If people are sorry, I feel like I know this already from how they carry themselves. I’m more interested in hearing how they rationalise, explain and understand things, because I think this is how change happens (or does not). And change, surely, is a desired outcome. Until time travel is invented, and in an increasingly performative society, apologies are just words. -- source link
#apology#trauma#mental health#therapy