drdaddy96: REGRESSION SCHOOL! ENROLL TODAY !Attention everyone! Do you find yourself tired of all th
drdaddy96: REGRESSION SCHOOL! ENROLL TODAY !Attention everyone! Do you find yourself tired of all the stresses of life as an adult?Do you long for a simpler time?A time before commuting to and from work?A time before you had to worry about the balance in your bank account?A time before you even had a bank account?A time before you had to worry about your GPA for the semester?A time before homework wasn’t even in your vocabulary?A time before any of this wasn’t even on the horizon?Well Good News! We have just the solution for these and other worries of adult life! Come and take a tour of our Regression School Today! We have everything you need to feel refreshed and unburdened by the pressures of your life! Once you walk through our doors, you will cease to be treated like an adult by our staff! We will treat you just like a precious little one! Our classrooms closely resemble that of a pre-school or kindergarten. Each classroom is stacked with toys, blocks, stuffed animals, padded carpets, and a chair for our teachers to read to our students for story-time.Of course, there will be some expectations for our enrollment. First, you will be given uniforms to be worn each day. This will consist of Mary Jane Shoes, White Socks, A dress shirt and a plaid skirt or dress. Second, You will be encouraged to bring a blanket or a stuffed animal to school each day for naptime. Everyone is expected to take a nap each day after lunch. To help students fall asleep, a special lullaby track will be played throughout every room on the PA system. These tracks will include gentle reminders and suggestions that you’re safe and don’t need to think about adult worries, and to only think about Third, You are welcome to bring your own lunch, however more and more students find themselves eating the meals which we have prepared for them. This can include, apple sauce, chicken nuggets, mac and cheese, and of course, lots of juice and milk for students to drink. Each meal will include a baby bottle of either juice or milk. We use baby bottles as we don’t want any spills to happen! Especially because some of our students get very excited at the idea of having their daily bottles! Fourth , you will be given a pacifier to use when in the classroom. This is to make sure that you don’t interrupt your teacher(s) while they instruct you on how to perform at this school… How to regress. The pacifier also serves to prevent anyone from speaking anything about adult life or life outside of the school.Fifth, a close eye will be kept on your bathroom privileges. As you might not be surprised to read; one consistent effect of our regression school is the tendency for our students to slowly lose their control over their potty training. It usually only takes about a week or so for us to start noticing our student’s control slipping away. We usually find our students sitting in a puddle of their own peepee after the first week. To solve this, a large supply of pullups and diapers are kept in each classroom, complete with a changing table as well. Perhaps you’ve seen our Student’s waddling home afterschool with their pacifiers still in their mouths? We will continue to monitor your potty training progress with daily diaper/panty checks. every hour, every student will line up and have themselves checked, if their panties are wet or their diapers are full, they will be sent to be changed into a fresh diaper. No exceptions will be allowed once you have had an accident. Unsurprisingly, once our students start to have more consistent accidents…They also start to regress further and further, acting younger than some of the other students. When this happens, they are moved from our kindergarten classroom to our pre-school classroom.Here they will be taken care of hand and foot, including meals and bottles fed from a highchair, 2 naptimes each day in their own crib, and of course, more frequent diaper checks, as these students usually fill their diapers more often than other students. …Of course, all of these side effects are unintended by our Regression Program. While other’s have insinuated that we might try to accomplish these effects purposefully, we remain stern that these are simply some adverse side effects of the environment and teachings our students experience……However, if you ever find yourself WANTING to achieve these effects and more, that is more than fine, in fact it can even be encouraged. If you wish to become regressed back to needing to wear diapers each and every day, needing to be fed from a bottle, and from a highchair, needing two naps each day, and needing to always be suckling on a pacifier… and needing to be treated like a little baby... All you must do is sign your name on the special page on our enrollment form…What do you say? Will you try our Regression School Today? -- source link