for-the-love-of-my-pup:wynspers:Musings on perfection: My eternal dilemma. I have an issue with perf
for-the-love-of-my-pup:wynspers:Musings on perfection: My eternal dilemma. I have an issue with perfection in that I have simultaneous, conflicting desires to be perfect and imperfect at the same time. Not in my usual indecisive way, I strongly want both, constantly. I want to be the perfect submissive for my Dominant. I want to be fully capable to fulfil his every need and desire on a whim. I want to be strong in my subservience and obedience to him. I want to be perfect, because I believe he deserves perfection. At the same time, though, I don’t want to be perfect. Not yet. To be perfect would mean that there was no more room to grow, to learn, or to improve. To be perfect would mean I don’t need the training and reinforcement of our rules and guidelines. To be perfect would mean there would never be a day in my future where I look back at where I am now and be proud of how far I have come. I’m not okay with perfection seeming unattainable, and yet I’m uncomfortable with the notion that I may have attained it. I want to become perfect. I want to work for it, I want to grow and improve within myself and my submission. I want to go on that journey. I am the type of person that needs goals. I need to know that there’s more for me to learn and experience and accomplish. I’m the type of person who will take a night to celebrate a victory and the very next day ask myself “what next?”. I need that. I need that in all areas of my life. And yet…Yet the struggle with being perfect very firmly sits within the context of D/s. I can accept when people say I am a perfect daughter, or a perfect worker or a perfect friend…but as much as I want to be the perfect submissive I rebel against people suggesting that I am.For a while I thought perhaps it was because there was so much emphasis on what a perfect submissive was and how a perfect submissive would behave. After all, we will happily admit that even the best daughters/workers/friends make mistakes, but to say that the best submissives make mistakes is perhaps one of the biggest taboo’s in the BDSM community [Goodness forbid we suggest that the best Dom(me)’s make mistakes!!]It’s not though. I understand that the best people in the world still make mistakes, our ideals of the perfect people make mistakes. The best and most experienced submissive’s and Dominants make mistakes. I know this, and yet the struggle continues. I want to be perfect, but I don’t want to be perfect yet.I think what it comes down to is that if I were to be perfect now, then it would have happened largely of my own accord. Of course there have been people along the way who have shaped me and moulded me into who I am, but for the most part, it’s a journey I have very much felt as though I have walked alone. If ever there is a day that I am truly perfect I want it to be our accomplishment. I do not want my Dominant to say “When I first met you I knew you were perfect and I knew I must have you”, I want him to say “When I first met you I saw the potential you had within you, I saw what we could achieve together”. I want him to define perfection and help me achieve it through guidance, training, punishment and encouragement. I want to grow into perfection, and I want him to know that I did that for him and through him. I am not ready to be perfect, but I am ready to begin the journey towards it. ~Wyn x This is beautiful, pup.I love finding the words you wrote before we met. I can hear the yearning, the earnest longing. I am proud to be the one to go on the journey with you. If perfection is ever achieved, we will have done it together. As always.I love you. Very much. -- source link