“You’re such a slut!”: Sexual validation in the age of social mediaWhy has exchanging insults become

“You’re such a slut!”: Sexual validation in the age of social mediaWhy has exchanging insults become acceptable, expected and even desired behavior among young women?Excerpted from “I Am not a Slut” “Before social media, there was no ambiguity when someone called a girl a slut. She knew she was being insulted, bullied, harassed, or abused. But today, “slut” is often a casual, reciprocated greeting among peers. “It’s like saying hi in passing,” reports a white twenty-year-old college student. “Girls calling girls sluts is really prevalent. It’s become normal to do it.” Daniela, the Latina bartender in Texas, says, “Around here, girls basically call out ‘slut’ as a sort of compliment to any female who looks good. Basically, you say it to any female.” Sarah, the twenty-one-year-old white student whose high school boyfriend used slut-bashing as a form of blackmail, tells me, “On my campus, girls say to each other, ‘Hey, you’re such a slut’ or ‘You’re such a whore,’ and I’ve never heard anyone get upset about it. It’s just a way for girls to acknowledge each other.”But at what cost? Girls and women are saying that they “love” the “slut” in question. Do they really? After all, we have seen that “slut” is an infinitely confusing term. Its meanings are not always obvious. How is a girl or woman supposed to know if she’s being complimented or insulted? “I’ve been called a slut in a joking way by my roommate,” says Jasmine, the twenty-year-old black and Latina student in California. “She’s like, ‘God, you’re such a slut!’ She said it three times over the last year. I laughed it off the first time, and after that I ignored her. She totally was judging me for hooking up with guys. She wanted to insult me, but under the cover of a joke.” Because “slut” has become an acceptable label among close friends, it can be used to frame an insult inside a term of endearment. “To me,” explains Sarah, “it’s like, ‘Hey, maybe you’ve done some crazy things over the weekend, so I’m going to call you a slut, but I’m not trying to be derogatory.” Translation: You are sexual, which is to be admired as long as you don’t go too far, in which case it’s bad—really bad. I’m calling you a slut, and I’m leaving my meaning deliberately ambiguous. I have my eye on you. But I’m being very casual about it, and I’m not putting in any real effort here, and if you accuse me of shaming you, I will deny it.”  Read the full piece here -- source link
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