captionstojerkby:I found my cousin having breakfast—I’d just finished lunch—down
captionstojerkby: I found my cousin having breakfast—I’d just finished lunch—down on one of the innumerable verandas that spread out from the resort. I started to tell him that they were going to do the rehearsal inside, since it was looking like rain tomorrow, and that Uncle Hank had asked where he was this morning, and that I was going to maybe take one of the shuttles into town and that, if he wanted, he could—but then he just exploded. “Oh my fucking God! Will you just shut the fuck up?! I’m too fucking tired for any of your bullshit.” “B—b—bullshit?” I stammer. “Yes. Bullshit. I’m not in the fucking wedding party, and neither are you, and it’s your fucking brother’s fucking wedding and he’s kind of a douche, anyway, so I don’t even really want to be here. So no, actually, I don’t want to go to the rehearsal. And no, I don’t want to go to the rehearsal dinner. And no, I don’t want to go snorkeling or tubing or shopping for a goddamned straw hat. I want to sit here, smoke a cigarette, nurse my hangover, and then get out of the burning sun and go back to bed. And you know that! But because you’re too fucking scared to say ‘Hey, I like the dick, you like the dick, let’s like each other’s dicks together,’ you have to keep trying to find things for us to ‘do,’ little ‘joint’ fucking ‘activities,’ like you’re some weird-ass cruise director on this voyage of the genealogically damned who won’t admit she just wants to throw down her shuffleboard stick and get boned on the Lido deck.” My mouth hangs open; he flicks some ash onto the stones. “Look, I’m sorry,” he sighs. “But is anything I’ve said not true?” I don’t answer. “Then go back up to the room. I’m gonna finish my coffee, come upstairs, fuck you to death, then go back to fucking sleep.” This caption is suuuperb. Is he a young Brian Kinney, perhaps? -- source link
#unrequited love#grouchy#gay captions