Testimony by B. COLE Titled: “I Am a Brown Boi” I’ve always been a ge
Testimony by B. COLE Titled: “I Am a Brown Boi” I’ve always been a gentleman. Chivalry, leadership, and a strong sense of duty were at the heart of my sense of self as a little girl. Yes, you read all of that correctly. Alas, little girls aren’t given space to grow and cultivate these traits. Ask any LGBT or queer person—yes, some of us use “queer” as a combination of sexual orientation and political identity instead of LGBT (similar to the emergence of Black instead of African American in the 60’s). We all have a story of origin about when we discover within ourselves the truth of our identity. My conversation with myself came at 19, but it’s different for each of us. This internal conversation reflects our coming out journey and the challenges ahead.Will I lose my family, friends, church, community if I live out loud?But the truth is thatBlack people make the largest portion of LGBT people in the US and our struggle with gender norms holds the possibility of transformation for our entire community. For all of us, straight or gay, there was at least one moment when we were told there were certain parts of ourselves that were not ‘okay’ to express. Driven by social expectations of gender, most of us learn at a very young age just how we are supposed to behave. If you’re a man who loves to cook, then you’d better become a chef because if you just enjoy cooking shows and cooking at home, you might be in trouble. Enjoying romantic movies, crying, getting a pedicure every now and then…all pretty much off limits to men unless they want to invite ridicule. On the other hand an outspoken, assertive, woman who’s into sports, action films, and other activities designated for men has a whole list of names she might be called. Opening up a new conversation on gender will allow all of us to feel less pressure to fit into a narrow definition. As a masculine of center* woman,I’ve spent three decades fusing myself together from across the gender spectrum. I encounter many challenges in my youth, as do most folks who break boundaries and challenge norms, but the end result has been amazing. My family is more understanding than most, but due to peer pressure, I actually dated boys and did my best to fit in when I was younger. It wasn’t until college that I felt independent enough to actually be honest about my desire to date women. When I finally did, it was as if a huge missing piece of myself fell into place. I felt whole in a way that had eluded me my whole life. For me, being queer has never been about how I felt about men but rather my love of women and the full discovery of myself. Click here to continue Published by EBONY, 7/31/13 -- source link
#transgender#gender identity#black community#myqueertestimony