queersabound: baddaydiary:mueritos:top surgery recovery has given me a lot of time to think, which i
queersabound: baddaydiary:mueritos:top surgery recovery has given me a lot of time to think, which is both epic and not. Been thinking a lot about past selves, past experiences, and how they all led up to me being the person I am today. I dont like the “I was born in the wrong body” rhetoric because I think it removes the agency for trans people to self-determination of our identities, nor do I like trans identities to be reduced to our bodies. I was that little girl, and I am not ashamed of her, nor was she ever my enemy. We do not have to reject our past selves to validated in our current selves, and I will continue to cherish the little girl in my head because she helped me become the person I am now <3patreon [image description: a seven panel, monochromatic comic by user @mueritos.panel 1: there is a little girl sitting on a garden box next to the trunk of a tree with her legs outstretched. She has straight hair that comes down past her shoulders. She is wearing a short sleeve t-shirt, shorts, and sneakers and is staring contemplatively at her bandaged/scraped up knees. There are three smaller trees that can be seen in the background and beyond that is a fence and houses of the neighborhood beyond. There is text in the top left corner.The text states: I think about meeting her. The person I was.Panel 2: The camera angle shifts and there is suddenly a taller, older, male presenting being. He’s wearing glasses, a necklace, a black muscle tank, ripped jeans, and has long wavy hair, which is similar in length to the little girl’s. The text for this panel is in the upper right corner, demonstrating that the words are the male’s thoughts or that the male is the narrator of the comic. The little girl abruptly notices the male, emphasizing the fact that he seems to have appeared from nowhere.The text states: I think of sitting with her, right by Mommy’s jardin, in our childhood house. (sidenote, based on google translate, jardin is the french word for garden)Panel 3: All that can really be seen is a close up of the little girl’s face. She looks a little apprehensive as she looks up towards where the male is projected to be.The right half of the panel says: Will she not recognize me due to the changes?My voice, my body, my hair…a person her own mother did not anticipate…Panel 4: The viewer sees a parallel of the previous panel, except now we see the male being, looking just as apprehensively down at the little girl that is looking at him the same way.The right half of the panel says: I think she always knew that she was temporary…Then again, 7 year olds don’t dwell that much. She was just happy to be…Panel 5: the viewer is now behind the two, seeing that they are talking to one another. The text surrounding them displays their conversation.The text says: "Sorry I tried to kill you in my head", I’d say.“That’s okay”, she’d probably reply with.“I loved being you. Just a lil’ girl playing in the dirt. I loved it.”“Me too.”Panel 6: We see a close up of the male. Based on the narration, he seems to be holding a series of pictures, shuffling through them and reminiscing.He narrates: “I used to hate looking at pictures of you.”“But now, I’m just grateful to have been you, and to be looking at you as me.”Panel 7: The little girl and the male are smiling at each other.The text that ends our story says: Greatful (Grateful) to be me.end image description] This and @anonbeadraws hair comic are everything I feel about my early stages of coming to terms with my gender and sexuality. Realizing that my gender euphoria was equal, if not more important and indicative of being trans than my dysphoria. -- source link