I haven’t been active on tumblr in years so.. this is really different. I am surprised I still

I haven’t been active on tumblr in years so.. this is really different. I am surprised I still have damn near 200 followers. Thanks guys. So I guess I owe you a life update (in backwards order since mine is a story of growth): I Am Alive This is me after.. crying my heart out about my family, running to my best friend because I felt I couldn’t run to my boyfriend, visiting the college I hated, talking to friends I hadn’t spoken to in months, thinking about the friends I spoke to over Facebook that I hadn’t seen since high school, waiting for my next unemployment payment, losing my job of two years, graduating with a bachelors degree, making a new friend, going to a convention for the first time with my cousin in over seven years, fighting back tears when it sank in that my father didn’t come to my portfolio show, having a conversation with someone I never knew I could care about at my portfolio show, reuniting with my best friend, smoking alone at night, sobbing because someone I love died, chainsmoking, hating my job, smoking, failing classes, dealing with six months of bronchitis, refusing treatment, getting sick, blown out alcoholism, passing classes, praying, drinking, no longer praying, writing poetry instead of praying… I’m not reborn. I’m not back because I’m a better person. I relapsed, I started smoking then stopped, found drugs then stopped, found new crowd after new crowd after small crowd then no crowd, I got my heart ripped out of me. I am both the panicked artist and the silent muse. But goddammit I’m alive. -- source link

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