sugarbabymindset: The Seductive Character - Part I - From Robert Greene, The Art of SeductionEv
sugarbabymindset: The Seductive Character - Part I - From Robert Greene, The Art of SeductionEvery seduction has two elements: first, yourself and what is seductive about you; and second, your target and the actions that will penetrate their defenses and create surrender. This post is dedicated to the first element: “The Seductive Character”. Studying the types of seducer will make you aware of what is inherently seductive in your character.We all have the power of attraction—the ability to draw people in. All we need to do to realize our potential is understand what it is in a person’s character that naturally excites people and develop these latent qualities within us. Successful seductions begin with your character, your ability to radiate some quality that attracts people and stirs their emotions in a way that is beyond their control. The Siren Example: Marilyn MonroeA man is often secretly oppressed by always having to be responsible, in control, and rational. The Siren is the ultimate male fantasy figure because she offers a release from the limitations of his life. In her presence, which is always heightened and sexually charged, the male feels transported to a realm of pure pleasure. It is not beauty that makes a Siren but rather a theatrical streak that allows a woman to embody a man’s fantasies. A man grows bored with a woman, no matter how beautiful; he yearns for different pleasures, and for adventure. All a woman needs to turn this around is to create the illusion that she offers such variety and adventure. Create the physical presence of a Siren (heightened sexual allure mixed with a regal and theatrical manner) and he is trapped. The incarnation of sex and desire, her time never seems to be taken up by work or chores; she gives the impression that she lives for pleasure and is always available. But she has a touch of innocence and vulnerability. The mix is perversely satisfying: it gives the male the critical illusion that he is a protector, although it is actually the Siren who controls the dynamic.A Siren must distinguish herself from other women. She is a rare thing. A Siren is preeminently a sight to behold. A highly feminine and sexual presence, even to the point of caricature, will quickly differentiate you, since most women lack the confidence to project such an image.The notion of danger is critical in seduction. Sirens are often fantastically irrational, which is immensely attractive to men who are oppressed by their own reasonableness. Keeping a man at a proper distance creates respect, so that he doesn’t get close enough to see through you or notice your weaker qualities. Create such fear by suddenly changing your moods, keeping the man off balance, occasionally intimidating him with capricious behavior. The most important element for an aspiring Siren is always the physical, the Siren’s main instrument of power. Physical qualities— a scent, a heightened femininity evoked through makeup or through elaborate or seductive clothing—act all the more powerfully on men because they have no meaning. Voice: The Siren must have an insinuating voice that hints at the erotic, more often subliminally than overtly. The Siren never speaks quickly, aggressively, or at a high pitch. Her voice is calm and unhurried, as if she had never quite woken up—or left her bed.Body: Your presence must be charged, larger than life, a fantasy come true. The Siren can use clothing to hint at the sexual, at times overtly but more often by suggesting it rather than screaming it. Related to this is the notion of selective disclosure, the revealing of only a part of the body—but a part that will excite and stir the imagination.Movement: Your air must be languorous, as if you had all the time in the world for love and pleasure. Your gestures must have a certain ambiguity, suggesting something both innocent and erotic. Anything that cannot immediately be understood is supremely seductive, and all the more so if it permeates your manner.The Ideal LoverExample: The Marquise de PompadourMost people have dreams in their youth that get shattered or worn down with age. Ideal Lovers thrive on people’s broken dreams, which become lifelong fantasies. Attuned to the fantasy that is missing inside you, the Ideal Lover reflects your ideal—and you do the rest, projecting on to her your deepest desires and yearnings. She is an artist in creating the illusion you require. In a world of disenchantment and baseness, there is limitless seductive power in the Ideal Lover.Upon meeting a man, study him, go along with his moods, find out what is missing in his life, and provide it. You have to focus intensely on the other person, fathom what he is missing, what he is disappointed by. People will often reveal this in subtle ways: through gesture, tone of voice, a look in the eye. By seeming to be what they lack, you will fit their ideal. To create this effect requires patience and attention to detail.Most people believe themselves to be inwardly greater than they outwardly appear to the world. They are full of unrealized ideals, but the world has crushed them. This is the key to their seduction—and to keeping them seduced over time. Don’t appeal only to people’s physical side, as many amateur seducers do, but appeal to their better selves, to a higher standard of beauty, and they will hardly notice that they have been seduced. Make them feel elevated, lofty, spiritual, and your power over them will be limitless.The key is the ability to observe. Ignore your targets’ words and conscious behavior; focus on the tone of their voice, a blush here, a look there—those signs that betray what their words won’t say. Often the ideal is expressed in contradiction.Men often idealize the Madonna/whore, a woman who combines sensuality with an air of spirituality or innocence. They remain an ideal, if for no other reason than that they offer such a range of pleasures. The key is ambiguity—to combine the appearance of sensitivity to the pleasures of the flesh with an air of innocence, spirituality, a poetic sensibility. This mix of the high and the low is immensely seductive. The DandyExample: Lou Andreas-Salomé Most of us feel trapped within the limited roles that the world expects us to play. We are instantly attracted to those who are more fluid than we are—those who create their own persona. Dandies excite us because they cannot be categorized, and hint at a freedom we want for ourselves. They play with masculinity and femininity; they fashion their own physical image, which is always startling. Use the power of the Dandy to create an ambiguous, alluring presence that stirs repressed desires.The Feminine Dandy: seduction is the female form of power and warfare. The man who uses it on a woman is in essence turning the game around, employing feminine weapons against her. The Feminine Dandy lures the woman in with exactly what she wants—a familiar, pleasing, graceful presence. Mirroring feminine psychology, he displays attention to his appearance, sensitivity to detail, a slight coquettishness—but also a hint of male cruelty—and leaves the woman vulnerable to a bold, masculine move. The Masculine Dandy: the two emotions you want to create are confusion and excitement. Intoxicate people by being a strange mix of the masculine and the feminine: beautiful, graceful, flirtatious, but independent and intellectual. The Masculine Dandy succeeds by reversing the normal pattern of male superiority in matters of love and seduction. A man’s apparent independence, his capacity for detachment, often seems to give him the upper hand in the dynamic between men and women. Never give yourself completely; while you are passionate and sexual, always retain an air of independence and self-possession. You might move on to the next man, or so he will think. You have other, more important matters to concern yourself with, such as your work. The Dandy displays a true and radical difference from other people, a difference of appearance and manner. Since most of us are secretly oppressed by conformity and a lack of freedom, we are drawn to those who are more fluid and flaunt their difference. Dandies seduce socially as well as sexually; groups form around them, and their style is imitated. The Dandy is by nature a rare and beautiful flower. Be different in ways that are both striking and aesthetic, never vulgar - go in a direction opposite to current trends, and be supremely uninterested in what anyone else is doing. Most people are insecure; they will wonder what you are up to, and come to admire and imitate you, because you express yourself with total confidence. The Dandy has traditionally been defined by clothing, and certainly most Dandies create a unique visual style. But a Dandy’s style cannot be obvious, for Dandies are subtle, and never try hard for attention—attention comes to them. Remember, there must be a reference point. If your visual style is totally unfamiliar, people will think you at best an obvious attention-getter, at worst crazy. Instead, create your own fashion sense by adapting and altering prevailing styles to make yourself an object of fascination. The nonconformity of Dandies goes far beyond appearances. It is an attitude toward life that sets them apart. Dandies are supremely impudent: they don’t give a damn about other people, and never try to please. Dandies are also masters of the art of living: they live for pleasure, not for work; they surround themselves with beautiful objects and eat and drink with the same relish they show for their clothes. The Natural Examples: Cora PearlChildhood is the paradise we are always trying to recreate. The Natural embodies the longed-for qualities of childhood—spontaneity, sincerity, unpretentiousness. In the presence of Naturals, we feel at ease, caught up in their playful spirit, transported back to that golden age. Adopt the pose of the Natural to neutralize people’s defensiveness and infect them with helpless delight.Children effortlessly seduce us and make us feel happy. Natural seducers are people who avoided getting certain childish traits drummed out of them by adult experience. They can be as powerfully seductive as any child, because it seems uncanny and marvelous that they preserved such qualities. Natural seducers learn early on the value of retaining a particular quality, and the seductive power it contains; they build upon those childlike traits that they managed to preserve, exactly as the child learns to play with its natural charm. You have to be able to let go to a degree, since there is nothing less natural than seeming hesitant. Remember the spirit you once had; let it return, without self-consciousness. People are much more forgiving of those who go all the way, who seem uncontrollably foolish, than the halfhearted adult with a childish streak. Remember who you were as a child, before you became so polite and self-effacing. To assume the role of the Natural, mentally position yourself in any relationship as the child, the younger one. The innocent: The qualities of innocence are weakness and misunderstanding of the world. Innocence is weak because it is doomed to vanish in a harsh, cruel world. The weakness of children elicits sympathy, their misunderstandings make us laugh, and nothing is more seductive than a mixture of laughter and sympathy. The adult Natural is not truly innocent. Yet Naturals act like they still see the world through innocent eyes, which in an adult proves doubly humorous. Learn to play up any natural weaknesses or flaws. A display of weakness will make you instantly lovable, both lowering people’s defenses and making them feel delightfully superior to you. Put yourself in situations that make you seem weak, in which someone else has the advantage. Without any effort on your part, people will feel sympathy for you. The imp: Impish children have a fearlessness that adults have lost. That is because they do not see the possible consequences of their actions - how some people might be offended, how they might physically hurt themselves. Adult imps are seductive because of how different they are from the rest of us, like breaths of fresh air in a cautious world. If you play the part, don’t worry about offending people now and then - you are too lovable, and they will always forgive you. Whatever you do, don’t apologize or look contrite, and keep a glint in your eye that says you do not take anything seriously. Act like a spoiled child: affect a powerful air of independence, and men will want to possess you, tame you. A man’s relationship with you is on your own terms. The moment he tries to change that, you lose interest. Want to be spoiled? It is all in your attitude. People are drawn to those who expect a lot out of life, whereas they tend to disrespect those who are fearful and undemanding. Wild independence has a provocative effect on us: it appeals to us, while also presenting us with a challenge—we want to be the one to tame it, to make the spirited person dependent on us. Half of seduction is stirring such competitive desires. The wonder: A wonder child has a special, inexplicable talent - a gift for music, for mathematics, for chess, for sport. True spontaneity is a delightful rarity, because we have to learn to act carefully and deliberately, to think about how we look in other people’s eyes. To play the wonder, you need some skill that seems easy and natural, along with the ability to improvise. If your skill takes practice, you must hide this and learn to make your work appear effortless. The more you hide the sweat behind what you do, the more natural and seductive it will appear. Remember: the role you were given in life is not the role you have to accept. You can always live out a role of your own creation, a role that fits your fantasy. Learn to play with your image, never taking it too seriously. The undefensive lover: As people get older, they protect themselves against painful experiences by closing themselves off. The price for this is that they grow rigid, physically and mentally. But children are unprotected and open to experience, and this receptiveness is extremely attractive. In their presence, we become less rigid. That is why we want to be around them. Undefensive lovers retained a playful, receptive spirit. They often manifest this spirit physically: they are graceful, and seem to age less rapidly than other people. Defensiveness is deadly in seduction; act defensive and you’ll bring out defensiveness in other people. The undefensive lover, on the other hand, lowers the inhibitions of his or her target. Bend instead of resist. Human beings are immensely suggestible; their moods will easily spread to the people around them. In fact, seduction depends on mimesis, on the conscious creation of a mood or feeling that is then reproduced by the other person. But hesitation and awkwardness are also contagious, and are deadly to seduction. If in a key moment you seem indecisive or self- conscious, the other person will sense that you are thinking of yourself, instead of being overwhelmed by his or her charms. The spell will be broken. As an undefensive lover, though, you produce the opposite effect: your victim might be hesitant or worried, but confronted with someone so sure and natural, he will be caught up in the mood. It is a matter of rooting out the fear and awkwardness that have built up in you over the years, of becoming more graceful with your approach, less defensive when others seem to resist. Part 2: The Rake, The Coquette, The Charmer, The Charismatic, The Star is HERE.So, sugars: which seductive character are you? -- source link