memzhay: Rhett is a Drunk WizardFor @theredquilt “By the blood of the sacrifice,”
memzhay: Rhett is a Drunk WizardFor @theredquilt “By the blood of the sacrifice,” Rhett intoned softly. He raised the ceremonial dagger and sliced his palm. Allowing his life’s blood to pour out of him and a drip to the ground below.“By the dust of the earth,” he spoke, the volume of his voice rising and increasing in intensity. The soil filtered through his fingers and came to rest in the center of the sacred circle where it mingled with the blood from his palm.Link peeked out from under the cowl of his robe, his blue eyes darting around as a low peal of thunder sounded in the distance. He swung the censer of incense and fought to keep himself from bouncing up and down in excitement.“By this fire so bright,” Rhett continued. He extended his closed fist and opened it with a flourish as a ball of blue and green fire sprang to life and hovered eerily above his sliced hand. “By this circle of salt,” He was practically shouting now. The thunder was close and menacing. “I say unto you, oh most Dark and Powerful One! I say, COME!!!”“…”“Come!” he tried again. The thunder gave a half-hearted reply.“Please come?” he asked hopefully. “Hmmm. Wait a minute.”Rhett looked around the circle, flummoxed. Not enough blood? No. That should have been fine. Dirt is dirt, so that can’t be the problem. Perhaps he drank too deeply form the cauldron of enchanted ale. His thoughts were a bit swimmy now that he noticed them. The answer struck him like lightning, which had unfortunately abandoned them entirely now. The clouds had scattered, and it was once again a sunny Saturday afternoon.“What the crap, oh most Noble and High Master of All Things Mysterious?” Link asked.“I know, right?!” Rhett answered with a slight slur. “It’s the salt circle. It’s gotta be. Not the first time this has happened.” He shook his head. So humiliating!“Balls!” he exclaimed. “I’ve got to be the only Master of the Dark Arts that can’t draw a perfect circle!” He sighed. “Well, we’ll just have to start again.”Link bounded forward enthusiastically with a broom and began to sweep up the remnants of the failed spell. “Perhaps if you had a stencil of some sort?” he offered helpfully.“That could work,” Rhett said brightly. “I know! Roll the patio table over here. We’ll flip it on it’s top and I’ll pour the salt around it. Brilliant!”“Where should we put the sacred scrying bowl?” Link asked.“Over by the barbecue is fine.” Rhett went over to the cauldron and ladled a large draught into his favorite goblet.Link turned the patio table on its side and rolled it over. It was heavier than it looked. They fussed with it, muscling it around until it was turned upside down in what Rhett thought was the perfect spot. Link’s excitement began building again. This was going to work!“Alright!” Rhett said happily, clapping his hands together and wincing. He had forgotten his hand was still bleeding. “Do we have more potting soil?”Link grabbed the bag and ran it over to Rhett.“Excellent,” Rhett proclaimed. “And more salt?”Link turned the can upside down sadly, the last few grains falling to the ground from the empty container. “No luck,” he confirmed.“Seven Hells!!” Rhett shouted. “Well, that poses a whole new problem then, doesn’t it?”Link pet the velvet sleeve of Rhett’s robe reassuringly.“Ok. New plan. First, we hit the Wal-Mart. Then we summon our Dark Master,” Rhett decreed. He poured himself another goblet for the road, grabbed his keys from his pocket and lobbed them at Link. “You drive.” -- source link