I am trying to decide whether to return to this haven after uni and live with my family for a bit. I

I am trying to decide whether to return to this haven after uni and live with my family for a bit. I graduate in a few weeks and I think it would be good to move on from Bristol and come back here a while and get involved with other projects after the summer. Bristol has been my home for 3 years and I am ready to get centred again and then try something new. This city has been so many things for me, a whole new landscape to explore and a space to settle into, but I miss the sea here, and I think if I stayed after uni I would feel as if I was hanging on. I want to be active in jobs and projects that excite me, and not just do anything so that I can stay in a place. I wonder why I feel less comfortable here than I have done, probably because of all these decisions. I am old enough to move wherever I like, as long as I can work there, how lucky that makes me! But how muddled too. And what about the relationship I am in with all the people here? Will they stay close to me or will I do what I always do and move on? There are only a few people I am still really close with through all these moves and shifts of time, will that number grow or stay the same? And Efa, will we stay together? Do I want to be in a long distance? The thought makes me hurt right deep in my throat. I had the most self belief when I was at home, has that self belief shrunk because of age or is it because uni was such a progressive, exhausting time of my life? I often find it easier to move on if I remember a part of my life as a harder time than it really was. I have become so strong, but more lost than I was as a child. Is that normal? Am I more sensitive than most people around me? This phase I am living in feels so pivotal, anything could happen, often it scares me, how can I make it more often excite me like it used to -- source link

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