sayurinomoe: Kaka Saku Week: Day 1 - Salty***When The Legendary Tsunade promoted her to surgeon, sta
sayurinomoe: Kaka Saku Week: Day 1 - Salty***When The Legendary Tsunade promoted her to surgeon, stating she was ready to perform her first surgery as first operator and not as a mere assistant, it had been the happiest and probably the most exciting day of her whole life as a medic-nin.She had trained so hard for that day: she had given her all for the chance to be near her mentor with the green scrub on top of her uniform like that day.She would have given anything just to be seen as an equal by her. As a field-medic, you are forced to accept death on the battlefield: you can cope with not being on time when this happens, and you can even blame time for being an asshole when you’re just too late and there’s nothing you can do to save a life. Shinobis are prepared to die, anyway; you just couldn’t ignore death in this job.And Sakura was no fool; she had survived a war, looked as gazes unfocused when soldiers died between her hands, but somehow… you know it will be a mess. Over there, you have to be prepared to face it. She just wasn’t ready for death in that room full of expert medic-nins and nurses, on a planned and routine surgery like they were performing.Still, when your hands are deep in an open chest, pumping a heart that shouldn’t have stopped and all you hear is the alarming sound of the machine right beside you, advising that Death is coming to snatch that life beneath your fingers… losing a patient can be scary, surgery suddenly becomes frightening, and the faces and eyes of the assistants in front of you resemble so much the relatives you will have to inform that you’re not sure your skill is enough to make it, this time.You can punch a God in the face, you can escape Juubi, you can survive a sea of lava, but you’re still a human, and when something like this occurs you know you won’t just come out clean from this. She pumped and pumped, one hand on the other, both just above the xiphoid process of the sternum, the point Tsunade had taught her to be careful not to damage during compressions.The Godaime spared a glance to the other assistants, eyes soft with pity and acceptance: they knew it was a lost cause.Even Shizune was standing still, hands in mid air, scrub coated in fresh blood, and those black eyes that saw death so many times in her long career she just knew what was happening and what would have when resignation would have finally stopped Sakura’s hands from practicing the life-saving ministration.Glossy charcoal eyes looked at the tiles between her sandals, mentally following the grout lines out of that now crowded room. The only sounds they could hear were Sakura’s muffled calls and the rapid alarming sound of the heartbeat pumped by her hands. She was shouting for her: she was asking her to fight a little bit more, to go back to the husband waiting on the other side of those doors, and to her newborn child, who was waiting in the cub near her, tended by the obstetricians, and saved by a last minute cesarean.Fifteen minutes became twenty, and realization started crawling in from her knees, going upwards to her abdomen.The void and the clenching you feel in the pit of your stomach, the heart that skips a beat, and all those frightening sensations that bubble up suddenly within you the moment you realize there’s nothing you can do to avoid it.That is the moment you understand that the only thing you could do is to accept and let go.The more lives you save, the more they weigh on you when the first one slips between your fingers: and as she felt completely and utterly powerless, when the wind blocked in her windpipe made announcing the time of death so difficult to her, she just stood still, waiting for the tidal wave of feelings to crash against her lids and to bottle it in. That’s why salty tears was all she had to show him, when she banged her fist against the door of his office on the last floor of the Hokage Tower, the urgency to bury her face against his shoulder and cry out all of her frustration evident in her trembling body, reassured he would have let her cry as much as she wanted without asking her anything, without probing to know what had cracked her up that much.And that’s why they were there in the middle of the room, her hands leaving talc imprints on his sleeves and wet spots all over his military jacket, the faint ferrous trace of blood mixing with her strawberry scented conditioner he really didn’t love that much.He just stood there, and waited for her to recollect herself, to look at him with those big, puffy eyes just to be sure she was still there, somewhere below the surface.He just knew what had happened without her saying anything.Placing both his gloved hands on her cheeks, he drew in, placing masked lips on her forehead in a gentle and sweet gesture, feeling the young Jounin giving in, closing her eyes against his chest, and releasing the breath she didn’t know she was holding.“You gave it all you had,” he stated simply, a small, reassuring smile barely visible in the stretching of the fabric. “I know you did.”***Thanks @denilmo for saving my ass checking this thing above, thanks @fineillsignup for giving me the life-saving website and for the last sentence. Thanks @dimigex too. And big thanks to all the other KakaSaku shippers for the amazing time together on Line.We are awesome! - もえP.S. - @fineillsignup I really love you. -.-’ *blushes* -- source link