rolledtrousers:It must make you feel schizophrenic, sometimes. Your mind is in two halves, desires
rolledtrousers: It must make you feel schizophrenic, sometimes. Your mind is in two halves, desires falling over one another in attempt to be the first, right at the forefront, the one that you’re going to satiate in this particular instance. They’re clamouring a pantheon of wants, and you can only do so much. It must drive you insane, to not know what to do next, what to do first. But those two driving forces, the desire to be wanted, cared for, protected, and the desire to be hurt, pushed to your limits, tied up and abused, fight against each other the hardest. They’re so diametrically opposed that you can’t help but believe that they’re at odds, a conflict inside your head that you’re in a constant struggle to wrap your head around and understand. It must feel a little like a deus ex machina that I even exist, then. I’m wandering close to hubris here, but then I’m a schizophrane too. I want to hold you close even as I’m bringing my hand down hard on you, wanting to protect and care just as I want to hurt and terrorize. I want to see love and fear in your eyes, swirling around one another like some fucked up Taoist symbol. So let’s just indulge the four of us, make sure everyone gets what they want and retire into the padded cell. Something tells me you’ve probably got a kink for that, too. -- source link