lafememeistnoire: knaz16:knaz16:moonbeastess:pronounrespecter:neneyne:pronounrespecter:n

lafememeistnoire: knaz16: knaz16: moonbeastess: pronounrespecter: neneyne: pronounrespecter: neneyne: delusionaldyke: im cant believe toppdyke is THIS dumb. “mothers have privilege for being mothers!” in what world. do we live in the same reality. Wtf Why ya not talking about this, @larpsandtherealgirl @pronounrespecter ? because i don’t look at my dashboard. next question Cool, why not roast this gold mine of misogyny? “Mother privilege”? It’s genuinely hilarious in its stupidity i mean i get that straight women are privileged but motherhood isn’t exactly a cakewalk lmfao what TD is talking about is the fact that as a female in a patriarchal society you are expected to give birth, that is your “job” as a woman. therefore women who comply and produce offspring are praised, and women who refuse to do so are demonized and their refusal is continually worn down (for example, even if you say you don’t want children, you’ll be refused a medically-necessary hysterectomy “just in case.”) The point isn’t that motherhood is inherently some nice cushy condition, it’s that we are pressured into it and rewarded for it in exactly the same way we are for other forms of female conformity (makeup, fucking men, getting married, being submissive). Y'all all know this and experience it and talk about it all the time. Don’t try to act like it’s suddenly nonsense just because the person saying it is somebody you don’t like. Are we seriously gonna pretend like women are not allowed to get tubal ligations till they’re married with three kids because women are not allowed to opt out of motherhood. Are we seriously gonna act like that rarely happens?! And women who decide not to have kids have their birth control manipulated and raped by men? And access to abortion is denied? WOMEN ARE FORCED INTO MOTHERHOOD. we are not allowed to say no. If women are not allowed to opt out of motherhood how can you sit there and say you are not rewarded for complying to it? motherhood is not easy neither is marriage to men, yet women are offered some privileges for this. Patriarchy is never easy for any women who comply, genius, just complying to patriarchy comes with societal benefits. If women have children for men, those men will likely continue to be married to them, and this comes with economic protections. And biologically, a mans sperm becomes less toxic to a woman once she has birthed his children. Mothers do have their own unique oppression as well such as single motherhood and lack of job prospects. Each of us do. Same way married women get economic benefits yet still have to suffer through marriage this is not a concept that is hard to understand. I cannot believe genuine cluster bs are calling themselves radical feminists yet have not read any radical feminist theories like is a radfem now something you identify as. This is tranny level of lunacy. Everybody knows, getting married, living with men and birthing their kids especially sons, comes with protections but ooooookay let’s act like women are sooo discouraged from giving men babies and are punished for doing so mhmmm yeah sure Jan. Also notice how 100% of het marriages exist for kids. Women who are barren in majority parts of the world (for fucks sake let’s get out of eurocentrism) are left to die. Motherhood comes with protections that women who do not, or cannot have children, are left without. Peep how infertile women soon end up divorced and left without that financial protection. - Speaking from a woman who does NOT live in white countries and is tired of feminists framing privilege/oppression off of eurocentric living conditions as if black and brown women do not fucking exist. And can we please break down how race and class tie into this? “Desirable” (more privileged) women are celebrated and rewarded for reproducing, whereas less fortunate women are demonized and bullied. I know firsthand. Look at the kind of contempt that is directed at black single mothers especially (speaking as the daughter of one‍♀️). They are called “irresponsible”, “welfare queens”, “loose”, “thots”, etc. They get little sympathy and are regarded as parasites. They and their children aren’t afforded the same “status”. The USA (and other countries too) has a long history of using birth control as a way to control women. Poor women, immigrant women, and women of color were manipulated into sterilization, and were exploited as subjects in trials and tests. My point is, even though patriarchy dictates that a woman’s highest duty is to make children, the racial and class hierarchies say that only certain women are valuable in this regard, and the rest of us are doing society a disservice by reproducing. I agree wholeheartedly, @lafememeistnoire!@knaz16, while I agree it is incredibly shitty for barren women in poor countries, it is also incredibly shitty for mothers. Poor to no prenatal care, high maternal chilbirth death rates, bad hygiene, fistulas, episiotomies, fistulas, little to no post-birth care… and that is only considering pregnancy and birth. Let’s add the hardships of motherhood and multiply them by not having money and resources, and it means not only going to bed hungry, but also enduring the heartbreak of taking your kids to bed hungry, and see them underdevelop due to malnutrition. In some countries, you had a child and she happened to be a girl? Expect to be beaten, get acid thrown, even get burned alive.And even in middle class scenarios, it is very hard to be child free, and also very hard to be a mother.As someone who became a mother later in life I got a taste of both. Being child free was irritating because someone is always questioning you for not reproducing. Family reunions are specially awful. People think there is something wrong with you, and treat you accordingly.But being a mother is worse. Everyone questions your every move. No matter what you do, somehow you’re doing it wrong. If you breastfeed, bottle feed, do attatchment parenting or not, if you are a “helicopter” or “neglectuful” mother, if you take your kids to a public or private school, if you homeschool, somehow you can never do things right, and somehow you end up judged and considered a terrible mother by someone. (Of course, men are not subject to this. They are great when they “babysit” their own kids, and downright heroes if they are hand-on parents.)Motherhood in itself is hard. Forget your money, your time, your modesty, because that all goes right out of the window the moment you become a mother. You are always tired, irritated, annoyed. Yes, there are some great moments in between, but it is incredibly hard, and nothing prepares you for it. You are expected to take the brunt of all unpaid and emotional labor of the house and family. For many women around the world, motherhood is a form of slavery, as there is no rest, no vacations, no escape.And if you dare complain? Shut up, buttercup, you’re not special. Millions of other women have done it before you. With ten kids. Without modern appliances.When a man leaves you being child free, you can move on. People even conmiserate with you. When you have kids? People judge you. Badly. You become one of those single mothers, one of those statistics. You are what is wrong with the world. You are going to destroy your kids, and society. You are reckless and irresponsible. The dude? No one questions him. Hell, he probably left because of the children! He could not stand the lack of attention, the lack of sex. He is not willing to give up on his money and his freedom. You’re on your own, and people will make you pay for it on top of everything else.And if you are in an abusive relationship, kids make it way harder to leave. Without kids, you can pack up your things and go. Yes, it is hard to leave, and dangerous. Yes, sometimes you need to find a shelter. But with kids, you need to find space, you need to pack and carry their things on top of yours. You get a million questions and a lot of heartbreak from your children, heartbreak they do not deserve. You need to figure out how to feed them and not only yourself, and what to do with them. You can’t take kids to job interviews. And if *anything* goes wrong with your kids? Kid killed himself? Kid is addicted to drugs? Alcoholic? School shooter? It is always the mother’s fault. Somehow.Mothers are rewarded with social and financial privileges? This person has evidently never been a mother. Mothers, in any case, are more castigated. Are you on a night out with your friends? Who is watching over the kids? You shouldn’t be drinking! And then people treat you and your kids as a nuisance, an annoyance. You become a social pariah in some circles. Keep your spawn of satan at home, no one wants to be listening to their shrieks. Financial privileges??? Motherhood is expensive, and it depletes your wealth fast. And mothers are paid less than child free women, for the same jobs. This even has a name: the Motherhood Penalty:http://gap.hks.harvard.edu/getting-job-there-motherhood-penaltyhttps://www.nytimes.com/2017/05/13/upshot/the-gender-pay-gap-is-largely-because-of-motherhood.htmlhttps://www.nytimes.com/2018/02/05/upshot/even-in-family-friendly-scandinavia-mothers-are-paid-less.htmlNot to mention, mothers are less likely to be hired at all:http://news.cornell.edu/stories/2005/08/mothers-face-disadvantages-getting-hired-study-showshttps://www.momsrising.org/page/moms/manifesto/chapter7And policies keep mothers out of the workforce, and in poverty (or financial dependency on a male partner, which of course makes them extremely vulnerable):https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/media-spotlight/201404/mothers-in-the-workplacehttps://www.fastcompany.com/3052181/these-are-the-biggest-work-challenges-for-women-around-the-worldhttps://www.theguardian.com/business/2017/apr/22/women-life-behind-counter-hard-especially-mothers-retail-bhshttps://www.fastcompany.com/3041277/the-horrors-of-pumping-breast-milk-at-work-and-why-employers-should-careNo people in the world are poorer than mothers:https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/in-louisiana-anti-poverty-policy-unfairly-targets-women_us_59f63d94e4b03cd20b823b73https://phys.org/news/2015-08-mothers-poverty-fathers.htmlIn both cases, someone always questions, and someone always judges you. But being child free, at least you get to keep your money, your freedom, your peace of mind and your sanity. In the most extreme cases, even your life.The concept of motherhood privilege rests in the idea that you get some sort of deferential treatment in exchange for doing what is expected of you. What deferential treatment, I don’t know. Maybe get treated once a year on Mother’s Day?Whatever cookies we get in exchange for the hardships of motherhood makes it an extremely shitty deal.The idea of mother privilege is absurd at best, dangerous at worst. -- source link

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