– NEW FEATURES OF IPAD 3 INCLUDE VOUCHER TO CLAIM CLOTHING & PERSONAL EFFECTS
– NEW FEATURES OF IPAD 3 INCLUDE VOUCHER TO CLAIM CLOTHING & PERSONAL EFFECTS OF CHINESE LABORER WHO DIED MAKING IT – SIRI NOW COMES WITH “SNOOP DOGG VOICE” OPTION, SAYS THINGS LIKE “YO WHAT’S UP MY NIZZLE” – ENHANCED BATTERY LIFE COURTESY OF SMALL QUANTITY OF STEVE JOBS ECTOPLASM. HE IS DEAD SO THIS IS ENTIRELY POSSIBLE. HE DIED LAST YEAR. IT IS HIS GHOST’S ECTOPLASM. – ICONS NOW 150% MORE SWAGGED OUT – CD-ROM DRIVE, MOUSE, KEYBOARD AVAILABLE AS UPGRADES – THERE WILL BE NO TOUCH SCREEN BECAUSE TOUCH SCREENS ARE “OVER” – GUARANTEED TO BE 30%-40% LESS INTERESTING TO CHILDREN SO YOU CAN FINALLY GET SOME FUCKING WORK DONE WITHOUT THEM ASKING FOR “ANGERY BIRDS” EVERY FIVE FUCKING MINUTES SHIT – BACK OF IPAD 3 WILL BE STUDDED WITH DIAMONDS SO EVERYONE ON THE TRAIN CAN KNOW WHAT A FUCKING BALLER YOU ARE -- source link
#ipad 3#steve jobs#stave jebs#stib jops#stove jabs#greatesthits