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deathsmallcaps: boopboopboopbadoop: deathsmallcaps: boopboopboopbadoop: deathsmallcaps: boopboopboopbadoop: deathsmallcaps: deathsmallcaps: boopboopboopbadoop: deathsmallcaps: boopboopboopbadoop: deathsmallcaps: boopboopboopbadoop: deathsmallcaps: boopboopboopbadoop: deathsmallcaps: boopboopboopbadoop: deathsmallcaps: boopboopboopbadoop: deathsmallcaps: boopboopboopbadoop: deathsmallcaps: boopboopboopbadoop: deathsmallcaps: boopboopboopbadoop: deathsmallcaps: boopboopboopbadoop: deathsmallcaps: boopboopboopbadoop: deathsmallcaps: boopboopboopbadoop: deathsmallcaps: boopboopboopbadoop: deathsmallcaps: boopboopboopbadoop: deathsmallcaps: boopboopboopbadoop: deathsmallcaps: boopboopboopbadoop: deathsmallcaps: boopboopboopbadoop: deathsmallcaps: boopboopboopbadoop: deathsmallcaps: boopboopboopbadoop: deathsmallcaps: boopboopboopbadoop: deathsmallcaps: boopboopboopbadoop: deathsmallcaps: boopboopboopbadoop: deathsmallcaps: boopboopboopbadoop: deathsmallcaps: boopboopboopbadoop: deathsmallcaps: deathsmallcaps: @boopboopboopbadoop This is absolutely from their life changing field trip. She looks like she’s about to smack someone with a boulder and Zuko is mulling over whether the victim is going to die or just be maimed Exactly. He’s already calculating the reparation cost in his head “Oh shit is this gonna cause an international incident” They bullied a trust fund out of her parents that compensated her rightfully beat up victims *tv commercial voice* “Have you been in Ba Sing Se recently? Have you crossed paths with Toph Beifong? You may be entitled to financial compensation!” The whole reason newspapers are invented are so they can spread the word about beifong compensation It becomes one of those spammy commercial/ad things like the mesothelioma commercials. Regarded as a joke and possibly a scam until every once in a while Toph comes by and just WRECKS somebody When the Internet later comes out a remix of a commercial for it is one of the first things on YouTube YES SO MUCH YES. IT IS THE ORIGINAL MESOTHELIOMA Also Toph is John Cena-esque and you can’t chang my mind. She just busts through walls whenever she is about to be announced I see your headcanon and raise you: it is also before she is announced (and also when she is not expected to be there) so everyone is just going abo it their business and she busts through a wall and the announcer is just “… uhhhh…. the lovely and powerful lady Toph Beifong?” Also has anybody ever thought about how maybe Toph likes a “healthy layer of earth” not because she is a filthy little gremlin, but because she can see detailed features on people when they’re covered with dirt? We also know Toph tries not to care about appearances, but deep down she wants to feel pretty, but the only way she can see how to do her hair and makeup is the be covered in dirt so sometimes she’ll have IMMACULATE eyeliner and her hair in a special style, but she’ll also be COMPLETELY COVERED IN MUD. But somehow she makes it work?? If there’s one person that can make covered-in-mud look attractive, it’s the trailblazer Toph Motherfucking Beifong Bonus points if it becomes a fashion trend and ALL THE NOBILITY start walking around covered in dirt. That could totally be true If someone sorted the colors for her, or made sure that they all had sufficiently different enough mineral compositions that toph could feel the difference, Toph could definitely apply her own makeup. Maybe Katara would do it once and once Toph got the feel for all the spots it should go she just places it perfectly on her face. However toph isnt Into spending a lot of money on frivolities like makeup so instead she just mixes her own batch. Which then leads to a trend of earthbenders showing their skills by using their bending in such a precise way. Critics and jealous meakeup companies try to disparage her and just call her method mudface but it’s so cool and cheap everyone disregard them except for some haughty people YES SHE LITERALLY SMEARS DIFFERENT COLORS OF MUD ON HER FACE AND IT BECOMES A HOT TREND. She started out using mineral based makeup because she can see it, but then she realizes how much power she has and tries to get away with crazier and crazier mud smears. She rather likes red mountain clay (it has shiny bits in it!) and dark green river clay (it’s very soft and smooth and just kinda feels nice). The green clay doubles as hair gel too for some extra volume and control but also that healthy coating of earth. She likes that she is a fashion trendsetter because the only thing better than pissing off nobles is pissing off nobles and then pissing them off more by making their kids piss them off. She is the first person to go through puberty while wearing a shit ton of makeup and to not get a pimple, because her makeup also heals her face! Her makeup is basically a facemask BUT WAIT She uses her influencer status to sell expensive skincare. But it’s just dirt. And people buy it. AND THERE IS NO FALSE ADVERTISING. They just buy it because she says the dirt will help them. In the poorer areas she also sells the instructions on where (and how if you don’t earthbend) to gather your own materials for the facemasks, and also how to reuse the minerals later to help with farming. She keeps the instructions away from the wealthy, so the poorer kids can also run their own little businesses and save up using mask sales. Basically she invents this world’s Girl Scout cookies and brings back field rotation and such so no Dust bowl happens She absolutely does this, mostly out of the kindness in her heart (she’ll kill you if you tell anyone she has kindness though so shh) but also a little tiny bit to piss off her family’s rich friends. And it totally seems like a pyramid scheme but it’s not. Pyramid schemes are invented as a way to (terribly) rip off her system. So she ALSO fucks with the pyramid scheme people. She leaves fake instructions lying around for them to find. Their products make people’s faces break out HORRIBLY (see: a mild form of the white jade flower poisoning). Toph laughs like the amazing little gremlin she is. YES why would she do something for free? They don’t understand??? As she gets older In life she ends up busting more pyramid schemes than anything else, and she and her daughters also give out free marketing seminars for people who honestly want to supplement their income But they’re free, because she’s into scamming the hustlers, not the honest. Imagine her infiltrating a pyramid scheme though. She’s be so good undercover. Rise right through the ranks and then crush the head honcho with a boulder. (As his blood drips on the floor) “Hey look, the profits are trickling down!” And that’s why they don’t understand! What is this altruism they keep bringing up? Being kind to people because they’re people? Bah! HA HA HA and they never have a clue that it’s her because somehow, despite her age, build and blindness being public knowledge they just can’t fathom this little blind lady legally and literally knocking the stuffing out of them Toph really does have a good heart, she just really likes punching people. And she definitely deadpans “I am tiny and blind and helpless, what do you mean?” It’s a good combination! Literally almost nothing can be pinned on that girl. Her parents are also pissed because she singlehandedly changed the entire family’s reputation from “extremely wealthy and sophisticated” to “chaotic good so chaotic it sometimes is chaotic neutral” And no one will admit it to her parents faces but even some of the rich people like this new Beifong family better than the old version The Beifongs can only facepalm because Toph is Too Powerful and Cannot Be Stopped. Does she inspire the other girls of the earth kingdom Oh absolutely. Everyone wants to be like Toph. ESPECIALLY teens in the rebellious stage. But much to their parents’ horror, the behavior persists after the phase passes. Aha so they all try to shut them down saying “you’ll be more conservative when you’re older” NOPE They still smear mud on their faces and align chaotic Oooh yes Also I just realized this method would make theatre makeup SO much less expensive. They just use thicker mud I feel like this headcanon needs to become reality. I wanna leave my house after swearing mud on my face. Bonus points if Iroh gets Azula another earth kingdom doll (she’s hurting and hey maybe a doll will comfort her and she won’t burn it this time) and she’s really confused and thinks the mailman dropped it in the mud and spends 2 weeks fretting before finding out that’s the latest earth kingdom fashion bay bee. Wait so the doll comes with literal makeup??? The doll is designed to look like a pretty earth kingdom girl. And all the pretty earth kingdom girls are smearing their faces with mud. So the doll’s face is smeared with mud (or paint that looks like mud). (you know how barbies have makeup painted on them? And some bigger dolls too?) Ohhhh I see. Yes, Azula the perfectionist would be very conflicted about her doll. On one side, it’s a doll covered in mud smudged. On the other, “it’s so artfully arranged!” And iroh is just like lol I got this from a street vendor whose daughter is practicing her bending She’s still not sure it wasn’t dropped in the mud by accident and at first she’s annoyed how it leaves mud smudges on her when she hugs it, but eventually Azula the perfectionist decides it’s time for a makeover. After all, the doll is pretty and even before her little psychotic break, she valued her beauty. If she’s not making the trends, she has to stay on them. The servants all just look away while she’s sauntering around in her earth kingdom look. Zuko drops the tray he’s holding and screams. Azula, in true 14 year old girl fashion, is sincerely like “Zuzu, do you like my new makeup look? All the girls in the earth kingdom are doing it like this now! The school is on summer break, so I was going to go out and maybe see if I can finally make a friend!” And what’s he supposed to tell her?! She’s MENTALLY FRAGILE! He can’t just tell her that the sight of his perfectionist sister with mud SMEARED ALL OVER HER FACE nearly made him keel over and FUCKING DIE! So he just says it’s an interesting look and it looks nice on her and straight up RUNS AWAY. When Toph gets a messenger falcon with a black ribbon, she’s expecting news of an international crisis. Instead it is a letter from the very confused and angry firelord. There is only one way to handle this. She personally sends Azula every single product she has in stock. You’re right staying trendy is absolutely Azula’s thing. Poor Zuko he just wants to help. While I think it was start of pretty badly can you think about how almost literally dynamite that friendship would be? They would terrorize the world. And HEADCANON they invent dynamite. We know they have blasting jelly in the fire nation, but there are no real hard core explosives. So they accidentally invent some one day and are like hey this is actually pretty useful? How many national monuments do they blow up before they figure out how to control it? All of them. That’s ok then, they were all National monuments put up by Fire imperialists They also destroy a LOT of family heirlooms (Iroh and Zuko freak out like chickens with their heads cut off, obviously) (Sokka also flips out because he, like Iroh, is a Stuff Gremlin). But they put on that innocent face like “Come on, we were just having teenage girl bonding time those vases were really old anyway” Suki, Aang, and Katara just walk away because this is Not Their Problem. I don’t think Aang would walk away. I think he would also try to convince Zuko (probs not Iroh) that “it’s just stuff” and “physical attachements are bull crap yo and Toph and Azula are just exploring themselves”. It’s the last time Zuko ever tries to beat up Aang Yes, this happens exactly like that. … until they accidentally blow up an air nomad relic. Then Aang is in the avatar state and Katara is trying to calm him out of it while Zuko is trying to stop Toph from blasting Raava right out of him. (hey he’s really powerful in the avatar state and she’s not ready to die) The issue is resolved by making Azula and Toph glue whatever they blew up back together while wearing their “Don’t destroy the relics of victims of genocide” shirt. (Yes, they’re pouting. Yes, they hate the shirt.) Aang has to sit in the corner and wear his “Don’t use the avatar state on your friends” punishment shirt. (Yes, he is also pouting.) Yes! Exactly that. Aang does move away from getting upset when air nomad stuff is changed, but it would still be very hurtful. Also those are the first tshirts The first t shirts are meant to shame their wearers. Also if it wasn’t clear, it’s one very large T-shirt that Toph and Azula share because it keeps them both working on the task at hand Yessss also the 2 person shirt idea makes it even better I am really mad that I have no artistic ability because I want to draw Toph and Azula in their shirt and also Aang pouting in his shirt so fricking bad SO FRICKING BAD I mean … I Do have a contest in two weeks. I’d make time to do it @boopboopboopbadoop I mean I’ll probably do it anyway but I really enjoy it when you win the contests Then I’ll have to win the contest! And put out another uke video I enjoy winning contests so it’s yet another incentive to participate! Yay! Maybe one of these days when it’s past customer hours at TSC I’ll play something of your for the chickies there. My girls are getting so big! Yes tractor supply chickens need to be introduced to culture. AND CHICKENS GROW UP SO FAST I’d say more, but I don’t want the pet breeding people to come in and try to create a “forever chick” by heinous amounts of inbreeding Yes they need enrichment for sure. It’s not fair! Yeah that would get bad pretty quick. We sold the last of our (so far. We’ve been extending ‘chick days’ because they’re still selling like crazy :/) Cornish broilers and they were only like 2 weeks and already they look like if someone was trying to draw chickens as old strippers. Their breasts are so huge and they don’t look comfortable living at all I know selective breeding has shaped the food we know, but I feel like it needs to stop when it starts hurting the animals. I mean we’re going to kill and eat them. At least let them have some dignity while they’re alive.And the reason they’re selling like crazy is there are food shortages and meat is a pretty significant one (at least down here), so people are… making an investment. “It’s not hurting them! We kill them at 6 weeks” literal argument I’ve heard about them wowNo dude totally the same. We are closer to meat packing areas than you (Chicago is closer to philly etc) but yeah people are coming in now and buying food for their chickens and as at least a third of them were panic buyers they’re like “oh gee whiz did not realize we’d have to wait six whole months to get eggs from our little guys what do you mean we have to respect their puberty/natural biological processes in order to get what we want” (some of the noobs are genuinely happy about their chicks tho.) it’s gotten to the point where (Asian) Indian people, who I’m 99.9% sure do not own anything larger than a suburban house, are worried and are venturing into getting chickens. As well as the clearly Karen affiliated suburban white people. The suburbs are waking up and actually worrying about essentials (That being said, the *general* food shortage is as always a myth perpetuated by the government and shitty high end economic choices and honestly even if the sitch gets 200% food will not be a problem for anyone except those who live in food deserts. There are no food deserts where I live, just idiots.)(But also it’s cool to own chickens responsibly and if anyone besides Boop is reading this don’t feel discouraged. You can also ask me advice I work with a very successful flock!) Even if you kill them at 6 weeks, they’re suffering for six whole weeks. Which is also their entire life. What a sad life.I feel like suburbanites owning chickens is a two sided coin. On one hand, you’re bringing cute chickens to a nice neighborhood where nothing is likely to catch them. And living just a tiny bit more sustainably! And saving money on eggs!On the other hand, some of these people have no business keeping chickens and are going to severely neglect them. If you’re going to keep chickens, get some books first and for the love of God when you run out of food, either get more or find something else to feed the chickens don’t just starve them because you don’t want to drive 15 minutes to tractor supply (looking at you, dad) -- source link