wolverinequeen:marzipanandminutiae: greysonderulo:dragonsspire:knight-nick: If you think like th
wolverinequeen:marzipanandminutiae: greysonderulo: dragonsspire: knight-nick: If you think like that, please don’t ever have children. Listen, my parents installed a lock on my door so I could lock everyone out of my room if I wanted to at sometime around 8 years old. They had a key of course for safety but they’ve never had to use it and they’ve never used it when they didn’t have to. I was allowed full access to any books, movies, and internet I wanted fully informed about our family beliefs and practices but I was given no supervision once I reached about 13 because my parents trusted me to stick to the rules or not as I felt and come to them if there was anything that I had questions about. As long as I said where I was going, who I was with, and when I was going to be back and then phone if anything changed I was allowed to do pretty much as I pleased from 13 onward. I moved back in with my parents after university and the first conversation we had was my dad telling me that if I felt like they were treating me like a child to please tell them because they had no intention of doing so. I still live with them and I’m comfortable here as an adult. When I eventually move out again, which I feel no rush to do because I feel respected and given more than enough elbow room, I will probably talk to them often if not everyday. Because they’ve always respected my privacy and my autonomy both physically and emotionally. If you want an independent and fictional child trusting them and giving them their space will do you many more favours than not. meanwhile, my parents… password protected my computer so i had to get permission every time i wanted to use it put a passcode lock on our pantry so we couldn’t eat without permission regularly checked our internet browsing history shut off the internet at regular intervals, including when i needed it for university homework did monthly checks of our bank statements and would confiscate money if they didn’t approve of our activities in response, i went behind their backs and opened a new bank account, got a secret job, bought my own groceries, and used the wifi from the school across the street. they didn’t succeed in disciplining me. all they did was force me to distance myself from them. your children are not your property. they are human beings, and they deserve basic human rights. nothing in this world teaches you to lie and sneak around like a parent who doesn’t believe you should have privacy When I was little, I remember my bio dad wanted us kids to be brought up “Military style”, to wear uniforms in the house, wake up at 4 am, and make our beds in the military style (where a quarter bounced off it if it was correctly made). Luckily my mom shut that shit down. She also divorced him when I was little too thankfully. My mom allowed me privacy, and treated me kindly. I trusted her entirely growing up to communicate everything. Guess who I call and see every day and guess who I haven’t spoken to in ages. When I used to work in nursing homes, some of the meanest old people who lashed out at everyone and mistreated everyone often griped about how their kids haven’t seen them in years/decades. I often wondered to myself “You treated your kids like garbage didn’t you?” If you want involved kids who cherish and respect you, you first have to cherish and respect your kids. They are human beings, not house slaves. -- source link