04+05+91=30. Today was a big day! I made it 30 years on this planet. It was a beautiful Monday of qu
04+05+91=30. Today was a big day! I made it 30 years on this planet. It was a beautiful Monday of quiet calm, work, and a KBBQ dinner with Katie and Kyle. We caught up on life, shared jokes, talked about the worlds of Tiktok, and NYC real estate. Is this adulthood? (Yes with a little apple flavored soju.) • I told Katie last week I cried while driving to pick her up because I was thinking about what I wanted to say in this annual post. I didn’t have an answer when she asked me why but I sat with it for the week and I understand now. • When I was in high school, I felt like I was probably going to die young. I’m not sure what age that meant but 30 fits the range. It was a mixture of my most mentally defeated years and the lack of representation in my everyday life. I had no Asian LGBTQ role models, no real out AAPI filmmakers to model my dream career after, no sign of happy relationships (or even the thought of legal LGBTQ marriages). In essence, I had no proof that I would have a future to look forward to. • Add in this past year, celebrating my second birthday during a global pandemic. We witnessed incredible solidarity with the Black community, watched with bated breath as we ousted one of the worst presidents in our history, and grieved over the violent tragedies that have unfolded against the AAPI community. Through all of these trying times, I honestly feel an immense amount of survivor’s guilt. How and why have I been spared when so many more have suffered this year in unimaginable ways? I don’t feel deserving. • Me being here, celebrating 30 years is a DAMN MIRACLE. I am grateful for my family and the time I’ve gotten with them this past year. I am grateful for the job I have and the incredible coworkers who are so supportive of who I am. I am so blessed with the people I call friends and am honored to be theirs. And I grieve for my loved ones who didn’t get to see me make it here. Friends and family that left too soon to witness this miracle. I wish they were here for one more hug and kiss. • Today I celebrated the miracle that is my life. Thank you to everyone that has reached out, you mean the world to me. ✨❤️ : @mary.kang [11:40pm | 04.05.2021] (at Austin, Texas) https://www.instagram.com/p/CNT0v7rlCLG/?igshid=s5747z5pmyje -- source link