redscharlach:Mighty Moments In Slash History: A Strategically Positioned Scabbards SpecialIn the cur
redscharlach:Mighty Moments In Slash History: A Strategically Positioned Scabbards SpecialIn the curious world of neoclassical art, a strategically positioned scabbard is a must-have accessory for any legendary nude warrior. For best results, it should be teamed with a plumed helmet, a dramatically draped cloak (preferably red), a brooding frown and a gaggle of swooning admirers.Now, in practical terms, this is a very silly way to wear a scabbard, since it’d be hard to draw your sword without slicing your own nose off. Admittedly, this wouldn’t have been a problem for Achilles, the star of three of these paintings, whose nose was impervious to harm, but even then, no one wants to hear an epic poem about the time you unheroically smacked yourself in the face with your own weapon.Of course, the real reason for these awkwardly angled accoutrements is to hide the rude bits, or at least divert attention away from them. When artists did include wedding tackle in their paintings, they were generally obliged to make it small for reasons of Good Taste ™, leading many art historians to interpret the scabbards as substitute representations of phallic power. In other words, they are Compensating For Something. But I’m sure we all guessed that, right?Most entertainingly of all, classical scholars among you may know that the Latin word for “scabbard” was vagina, so strangely enough, these guys are hiding their penises by prominently displaying their vaginas. I’m not sure about the symbolic ramifications of this, but I’m pretty certain that Sigmund Freud is doing cartwheels in his coffin as we speak… -- source link
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