Viktor Vektor x ReaderCH8CH1 . CH2 . CH3 . CH4 . CH5 . CH6 . CH7Taglist @daisychainsinknotsVik POV:I

Viktor Vektor x ReaderCH8CH1 . CH2 . CH3 . CH4 . CH5 . CH6 . CH7Taglist @daisychainsinknotsVik POV:I feel like I’m gonna fuckin’ pass out… like I’ve run a goddamn mile without taking a single step, her hand sliding up to the nape of my neck, and dangerously close to trailing through the back of my hair.Can’t risk lettin’ this get any further, not quite sure what this is, what she wants, if this is all some game to her… Definitely ain’t to me, but I haven’t quite got that part figured out yet either.I want her, so goddamn bad… but if lust was all this was I’d already have her pressed against the wall, legs around my waist before she could even blink. Somethin’s got me hesitant, got me thinkin’ too much. Too worried about how she really sees me, if she really wants me or if it’s just her hormones talkin’ for her – don’t wanna be something she regrets afterwards…Don’t think I could handle that.Makes me feel weak, honestly. Not something I enjoy, but I think I better take the time to sort through some of my own shit going on before allowing anything like this to happen.Not sure how I manage it… but I pull myself together just enough to clear my throat and hug her one last time for a smooth exit, catching her off guard when I part and try to act casual.“Like I said, sweetheart,” I take a seat on my stool near the desk, dropping her file there, “gimme a call if anything seems off, yeah? Maybe see you at the gym soon?”“Sure, doc.”Her voice sounds… off, drawing my attention back. I didn’t wanna watch her leave, meant to keep my focus on the file like I was finishing up the last details – which would technically be true.But…Fuck… if I don’t crumble at the sight of her.Her shoulders are slumped a bit, eyes cast down, brows knitted together slightly as if questioning herself before she makes her way to the door. She offers a small smile my direction as she waves goodbye, but there’s not much life behind it, not the usual cheery demeanor she tends to have.She seems… hurt.Goddammit…I stay silent, knowing it won’t do either of us good to stop her from leaving, keeping my trap shut until I know she’s left the building, hearing Misty tell her goodbye from the front room.My jaw hurts from clenching so much, head spinning and heart just now working towards settling into a normal rhythm.Did I just fuck up?She looked so sad, so … confused. Like I’d rejected her.If only she knew what was really going through my head.Or maybe if I knew what was goin’ through hers.Not quite sure what the fuck is going on in my own goddamn head anymore.All I know is that I don’t wanna be some one-night thrill, some game, some cheap joytoy or anything like that. ‘Specially not with her…Got no right to want more… hell, got no right to want her at all.But I do.I want her so goddamn bad.I wanna kiss her, I wanna hold her close, wanna feel her arms around me, see her smile when she looks at me, hear her laughter and know I’m the one who caused it.Fuck.I want every bit of her.In every way.Want to call her mine.To know I’m hers.Goddammit…I let out a deep breath and slump down, rubbing my hand along my jaw as I weigh my options…1: I … can ignore what happened today, go on like usual and keep things safe between us, platonic, just be here as a friend and her doctor, maybe even keep up some training so I don’t have to see her get killed on these stupid fuckin’ gigs she’s involved in.2: I can shut her out… keep it professional… distance myself a bit without being too harsh, stay friendly but forget about the rest, maybe if I push it down far enough … won’t matter as much.Or.3: I can … see where this goes… see how things develop naturally. Keep an open mind, as Misty always says, to the opportunities around me. Maybe quit being so negative and let her actions take lead, whatever that might mean. If, by chance, we end up in a situation like that again, I can just ask her what’s goin’ through her head.We’re both adults, even if I’m a bit more… adult. Putting age aside though, she’s got a good head on her shoulders from what I’ve seen. I’m sure she’d be able to handle a real conversation, be able to admit what she wants instead of playing any games.That runs the risk of her admitting she just wants the experience though… entirely possible she just wants a quick ride, not the whole experience.A one-night stand instead of a possible relationship.Don’t got much choice though. Can’t see myself pushin’ her away, and definitely can’t see myself ignoring my own feelings forever.3 seems to be the only real choice…Might have to talk to Misty about this, get her take on things. She seemed to have me pegged already, coaxing me to hit the gym the other day like that, sure she’d have a word or two of advice.Your POV:Can’t say you didn’t expect it, but doesn’t mean it hurts any less…Being rejected is never fun, never sits well, but this is worse. You never really wanted anyone this bad, never felt a click with someone like this before, only to have them so close and still pull away.Not sure why you let yourself get so worked up, why you allowed yourself to hope anything would come of it. Vik’s got his own shit goin’ on, doesn’t need some street kid merc like you comin’ in and stirrin’ up trouble for him.Now that you think about it, wouldn’t be surprised at all if he already had a girl. Guy like Vik could have anyone he wanted, probably has some gorgeous, classy type waiting for him at home.Not good thoughts to have though, instantly bringing a flush of jealousy fluttering along your cheeks, the pit of your stomach clenching with envy of a situation that might not even exist.He’d denied you, either way, meaning he wasn’t interested.Just as you thought… being nice but blunt, letting you go on a bit too long but still showing you the door rather than accepting your advances.You were an idiot to make a move on him like that in the first place.Fuckin’ stupid.Immature little kid with her hormones running the show, making the decisions for her. Can’t even keep your hands off the one guy who seems to click with you… So quick to ruin things before they even get started.Hopefully he won’t push you away.Don’t wanna lose his friendship…Even if you can’t have him as anything else, no matter how bad you wanna be able to call him your own… you’d settle for keepin’ him around at all.Honestly, can’t imagine life without Vik in it now. Makes you depressed just thinkin’ about it…You’ll need to apologize soon, maybe take some time away again to gather you thoughts, compose yourself, then tell him you just weren’t thinkin’ clearly and don’t want it to come between your friendship.Can only hope he understands.Hope he doesn’t hold it against you or act any different towards you now.Might need to talk to Misty about it, could be embarrassing admitting what you did, but she seems the type to keep secrets and be understanding. She definitely would have some insight, both in knowing Vik so well and in general advice on the situation.You’ll have to give her a call tomorrow, maybe meet up for lunch, or invite her over to your apartment to have a long chat. Girl’s day even – she’d been bugging you to have one anyway, would work out for both of you this way.You opt to shoot her a quick message instead, asking when she’s free as you step through the door of your home, the whole walk back a blur, having been stuck in your own thoughts the whole time.She responds pretty quick, setting the date for tomorrow afternoon, saying Vik had just cleared his schedule to take the day off which gave her the day too.It piques your curiosity, but you’ll just have to wait until tomorrow to ask her about it, not wanting to dwell on Vik even more than you already are.A long soak in the tub being what you need most right now, body aching and head throbbing with too many thoughts – not to mention the pure agonizing embarrassment.CH9 -- source link
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