I decided to take a break from my regularly scheduled artwork today and tackle something new. Someth
I decided to take a break from my regularly scheduled artwork today and tackle something new. Something, I hope, will give me a little freedom and peace amid the chaos of an unpredictable infant. In the past, for many years, I had the kind of time artists dream of having. Hours and hours to just sit and play and be and experiment. Obviously those days are gone, and while I miss them to some degree, there is so much beauty in the moment at hand. Albeit, a frazzled beauty. A beauty born of squishy smiles and stolen moments. Hazel’s naps - or rather, lack thereof - make it really hard to get any traction. Like, ever. By the time I’ve loaded up the brush and I’m figuring out where to lay the paint, usually that’s the moment she decides to whimper for her pacifier. I swear THEY KNOW. Some days this reality is harder to accept. I’ve wept with frustration as I hovered over her crib, stroking her silken forehead in the hopes of extending her nap for even just 5 minutes. Sometimes she gives them, sometimes not. I made a vow before she was even born that I will never be resentful of my daughter for taking me away from my art. It’s what I call a Big Picture truth. Because when I am zoomed into the moment, pinned down at the epicenter of my frustration, it’s hard to remember the truth — that Hazel IS my art. My living art. My greatest masterpiece. In her honor I am finding ways to create without the demand of needing to sit down for an hour to feel like I accomplished something. While painting this, I was interrupted 36 times. Those interruptions, like the petals on these flowers, are PART of the art. It’s no longer just me creating, We are doing it together. When I look at this floral notecard, I see her part in it. I see the moments she took me away to tend to her and how when I came back, I made a different decision. Perhaps a better decision, honestly I can’t remember. But what I DO know is that she is calling me out of myself, forcing me to be even more creative when creating. Oh, Beastie, how I love you, you darling, darling time thief. -- source link