Motherland Chronicles II Week 3 - Hanfu portrait with Alodia Gosiengfiao ❤️Emo post incoming: so I
Motherland Chronicles II Week 3 - Hanfu portrait with Alodia Gosiengfiao ❤️ Emo post incoming: so I fell and hit the back of my head on the ground yesterday. No blood and fractures this time and I even managed to finish this week’s Motherland piece somehow. Triggered me emotionally though. It’s weird how we can be so affected when we’re decades away from certain memories, yet they can still hurt and make us so angry. Depression sucks. I realized I’m not strong. Not as strong as I wanted to be or as strong as I thought I was. And I hate that I tried, or tried to appear to be for so long. When no one visited me in the hospital at 7 I thought the loneliness was absolute and normal. When I went for air rifle training after watching my friend’s cremation I thought it was my duty as a pro. At 15, I didn’t know I needed time after a funeral. I hate that no one told me that I could take the time off. I hate that I didn’t care for myself more. Screw being strong. The brave face you put on so others don’t need to feel bad and pity you, so they can praise you a little cuz it’s the right thing to be, fuck that. You be whatever you can be so you can go on. Because life does, and it’s not an anime. You’ll never be the genius kid who fights and wins against adults, who gets the justice you deserve and serves it to those who hurt you. You can fight and you will lose. You’ll get beaten and broken to pieces. You don’t know the rules adults go by, and there will be no magical saviors. But you can claw out of it with your own two hands. You can walk away. Sever your entire life and walked away. Sometimes that’s all we can do. Take what you can and keep living, because life goes on. You don’t have to be strong. It’s enough to just keep trying, to have the will to go on. So love yourself a little and never give up. You are enough. Photography: Jingna Zhang Model: Alodia Gosiengfiao Hair: Linh Nguyen Makeup: Tatyana Harkoff Follow me~ ~ http://instagram.com/zemotion ~ http://twitter.com/zemotion My class ~ http://zemt.io/n-learn Patreon ~ http://zemt.io/n-patreon © Jingna Zhang http://zhangjingna.com/ -- source link