vickyvicarious:onyxbird:wolves-in-the-world: wolves-in-the-world: onyxbird:pebblesrus:at least eliot
vickyvicarious:onyxbird:wolves-in-the-world: wolves-in-the-world: onyxbird:pebblesrus:at least eliot gave me a hug #I keep thinking of that quote from john rogers’ blog about how eliot isn’t much of a hugger #which. it’s not fair to dissect (and disagree) with that too much because it was about a specific thing and is imo true in parts #in that he has toxic masculinity & trauma-related reasons not to be comfy with it a lot of the time #I think he hugs when he feels safe or when he needs people. and this is him feeling safe enough to make a bit of a joke with it. #(the quote was from his comments on the underground job. his hug with cory where he was kinda uncomfortable but. you know. #had reasons to be. he doesn’t have those reasons here. especially with hardison too distracted to hug back.) #…deep sigh #I have a normal amount of feelings about fictional characters cuddling [via @wolves-in-the-world]Huh. The point about Hardison being too distracted to hug back is interesting, especially when combined with the hug in Queen’s Gambit where Eliot completely initiates the hug and then shoves Hardison away when he tries to hug back. (Also considering Hardison and Eliot’s usual display of affection is the little tap-tap-fistbump “handshake” which 1) doesn’t involve anyone holding on to the other and 2) requires the “recipient” of the gesture to actively decide to respond to the gesture.) the idea of an Ideal Hardison Hug for eliot being one where eliot hugs him and hardison doesn’t even acknowledge him is really sweet and really sad, oh noshit. shit. he can express affection (cooking, giving plants, keeping their dumb asses alive) but is it just accepting it that’s such a big problem? eliot “acts of service” spencer doesn’t know what to do when the tables are turned on him.(the alternative is he’s genuinely just not comfortable being held and can sometimes overlook that, like in the sheer relief of hardison still being alive. the idiosyncrasy of that appeals to me, too - the idea that it’ll need a little adapting to and the people who love him would be fine with it, once they figure it out. once he lets them see enough to.) but yeah @onyxbird, the idea that fistbumps and such allow him to be in control of the physical contact the entire time, that’s really compelling. To be clear, my thought wasn’t so much that Hardison ignoring him is the ideal Eliot hug (in the long term). It’s just that 1) Eliot clearly has hang-ups about physical affection and 2) Hardison has unfortunately set at least some precedent of pushing a hug after being rebuffed, and Eliot’s “resolution” to this seems to be “no hugs period except in extreme distress after life-threatening events (and even those might be aborted if reciprocated).” And there’s no way in hell Eliot is going to willingly have a discussion about establishing hug boundaries except to say “Don’t.” So if Hardison wants to change that, he’ll need to send a really clear and obvious message at the next rare opportunity that 1) you can hug me, 2) I won’t grab you, and 3) you can have complete control over duration and back out at any point, and he needs to do it 4) without calling attention to Eliot’s unusual cuddliness. Thus, my suggested strategy of “Oh, I suddenly need to stop right here and, uh, check something on my phone. No, this has nothing whatsoever to do with being hugged. Am I being hugged? I didn’t notice.” Eliot and Hardison hugs that I recall:Distinct lack of hug after Hardison sat on the car bomb :( :( :(Hardison hugs Eliot. Eliot protests. Joking/silly, but Eliot does seem actually embarrassed but also like he isn’t actually making Hardison stop. I think he’s suppressing a smile by the end.Freshly drugged Eliot who was out of contact with the team rushes up to Hardison and gives him a big but quick hug, shoving him away and making it weird when Hardison tries to return it. Note the back slaps to be less intense, but also closing his eyes and leaning into Hardison’s shoulder. The above hug, quick and joking, not returned by Hardison.The Grave Danger hug, where Eliot launches himself into the hug then buries his face into Hardison’s neck and squeezes him close and insists he never do that again, rocking in place as Hardison hugs him back just as tightly.I feel like another element to this is that Eliot actually might like hugs a lot, but they make him feel vulnerable/seen and he gets very nervous about that. The toxic masculinity yeah, but also when Eliot gives a really sincere hug he just buries himself into it and seems to want to derive comfort as much as/more than he’s giving it. He isn’t paying attention to his surroundings, he is vulnerable in multiple ways… so it’s only under specific (scary) circumstances that he will do it, because he’s always hypervigilant to his surroundings usually.In a really safe place with an upset Eliot, with someone he completely trusts, I think a hug could possibly go on for a while. In private I don’t think he would get as embarrassed as long as no one openly comments on what they’re doing. But it’s not something he is used to doing casually if that makes sense.Not actually anything new to this post since you did say when he’s safe or needs people, but I needed to ramble about it. -- source link