i grow immorally confused by my definition of This, because at times my thoughts make me feel like s

i grow immorally confused by my definition of This, because at times my thoughts make me feel like somewhat of a walking contradiction. A dismantled excuse of a mess that seems to have all the answers but struggles to put them proficiently into words. There will be times that i lay in bed searching for answers that i know just don’t exist. If words warranted me, to be able to truly describe This to someone in the entirety, without demeaning it or taking away from everything we’ve put into it, they would misconstrue it. They would deny the fact that This isn’t love and try to convince me that i’m the one living in a world of naivety, avoiding the elephant in the room that i don’t wish to address. But i’ve never felt more alienated than living in that moment. They would be the ignorant ones. Hypnotized by the world and all of it’s influences that everything revolves around that stupid, overused four letter word. That their soul purpose is to find “the one” because that is the key to happiness. If anything, being a part of This has made me despise the word even more; if that’s possible.Yes, This testifies as a deeply, emotional relationship; one that i spend most of my day submerged in. We talk almost continuously from the time i get up to the time i go to bed. This is typically the first and last thought from when i open my eyes to when my head hits the pillow. i feel things i’ve never felt in some of my deepest relationships, and those don’t even scratch the surface of This. It’s passionate, it’s lustful, i’m willing to sacrifice my happiness for Your pleasure. To some, that is love. Now, it may just be the broken pieces that i came into This with, but i’m not even on the fence about it. i have craved to be in Your hands for longer than i’m usually granted and i do crave to be there more often than not. i’ve even thought about how planning a weekend under Your complete and total Dominance would uphold. But it’s just simply that.i’m not sure what i feel for You, but i know what i don’t. i have never, not once, envisioned what it would be like to be mrs. dominant. i’ve never had thoughts of us living together, or creating a “life.” i don’t plan our wedding out on pinterest, and i don’t imagine what our children would be like. i don’t think about what it would feel like to come home to You and You have dinner prepared on the table with a bouquet of roses and a petal consumed bathtub with candle lights all around it. i’m not THAT woman. and i don’t want to be Your woman. That being said, You and i both know that doesn’t mean i am not Yours; Only You and i can understand the significance in that.In a year’s span, i’ve become deeply attached to This, and it has snuck it’s way into every fragment of my life. It is truly amazing how i’ve become a part of something i never dreamed were possible. Something so much as a slight chance of luck that we cross paths and dive into something extraordinary that we never knew existed. It’s hard to imagine life before This began. What occupied my mind before all the reminders of This. How everyday objects take on deeper more sublime meanings. How everything that This touches becomes affected. It’s as if i’ve fallen gracefully on a new set of glasses only to discover i was actually blind this whole time. Glasses that the highest bid couldn’t win and the richest man couldn’t seduce to acquire.It is breathtakingly beautiful in all of It’s essence. And most of what This is, what we have, is love to many people. Even i get tripped up along the way at times because these overwhelming feelings are incomprehensible. This is many things to me, as i’m sure it is to You. i feel a lot of things for You, and until now, i’ve felt scared to tell You. Hiding a part of myself, holding back to avoid complications. i value You, cherish You, and most of all i respect You. That being said, it takes a certain corridor of the beating organ inside me and an inner voice that encourages me to submit to You extensively. There is something. i know that, and You know that as well. As much as You don’t want to admit it. This is a deeply, emotional connection that ONLY a Dominant and a submissive will experience. A power exchange that insures a place of growth and discovery and even a hint of utopia. You are completely inseparable from This, but You are just the frame that allows me to divulge in my submissiveness, and Dominance is all i wish to gain from You. But do not belittle This to being just sex, because it’s not. It’s offending. It’s more than that.It’s the way i love how the word slut magnetizes to Your tongue and attracts mine to Yours. It’s the devotion to sink to my knees in a puddle of submission before You. The way Your handprint engraves on my ass and decorates it with shades of red and little hints of purple and blue protruding from it. There is a lot of love within This. i love being Your submissive, i love that You’ve chosen me to accompany You along This journey. i love our meetings. i love Your Dominance. The way You look at me, and the feelings i’ve endured. i do need You, but to join me in This. And i am a woman, but i’m also Your submissive. i do love, but i’m not in love with You, i’m in love with This.Copyright 2013 © youryounglady -- source link

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