This guy was one of the last things I drew/painted before the burnout hit bad. I was staying wi
This guy was one of the last things I drew/painted before the burnout hit bad. I was staying with friends while a loved one was visiting from out of town, and though it was several days of excellence, it was during a time when a lot of difficult experiences and mental health issues were catching up with me. I hadn’t touched my sketchbooks or any other materials in a long time. I was really struggling to feel any kind of optimism about my future. Everything, especially art, felt futile. At the end of a truly amazing day, I was up late, alone, and decided to have a go at painting something - and after several false starts, this was what came out. I thought, “this is something, right? I’m trying, this counts, right?” But I hated it. I felt like my hands had gone dumb. It was almost a year before I managed to do anything on canvas again, after things started turning around. I think it’s kind of funny that I’ve ended up painting other, actual, clowns since then. Life isn’t perfect, but it’s a lot better. So much has changed. It’s still a struggle, but I know there’s good times down the road. An almost ecstatic level of giddiness trapped behind an ephemeral layer. Just have to keep pushing until you break through. -- source link
#horror#personal#mental illness#depression#painting#dark art#surreal#yellow